Can You Handle It?

I firmly believe that God doesn't give us anything that we can't handle... we are constantly faced with trials and tests to grow us as people and as Christians. I'm facing one of the hardest trials I have ever had to endure, and I'm sure many other parents can relate. It's called *cue dramatic daunting music* separation anxiety. It's not fun, not one wee little bit of fun. It doesn't matter what I do, I leave the room and my daughter flips out. I can't hand her off to her daddy and walk away without her getting upset. There are rare moments when I can scoot away to take a shower or start dinner... but the majority of the time she's in the shower with me or on my back while I cook. This is my life in a nutshell.

The point of my rambling... while my daughter struggles with being away from me, I'm struggling in my walk with Christ. I guess in a way you can say that I'm facing some separation anxiety myself. I am still a Christian, my faith has never faltered, but like many people do I'm not staying focused as I should on time with just me and Him. I miss bible study, I miss praise and worship... and I really miss church. We are planning on attending a large local church that is extending a new branch in our community. We LOVE this church, but unfortunately we can't afford to drive to the main campus and the campus that they are opening here will not be ready until January. So I'm struggling... but I will get through and keep clinging to my faith and finding my way through the heartache of all this separation stuff with Boogie. Pray for me? Thanks!

Sigh...

We're going through some major separation anxiety over here. Boogie gets hysterical when I leave the room, when I try to put her down for her nap, if I hand her to J... it's driving me crazy. I say that, not because her wanting me is driving me crazy, but because her always needing me is stressing me out. I can't get a minute alone, I can't hand her over to J and ask him to put her to bed because she won't let him! I'm stressed. I'm tired. And no... don't offer to babysit, because at this point, it will only make matters worse. Sorry for being snotty, but there you go.

As for nighttime, I stopped keeping track of it... she woke up so many times last night that I was in a complete daze and early this morning I asked J to go sleep on the couch (he had about an hour until he had to get up for work) so that I could bring Boogie to bed and get some sleep.

So there. I'm tired. I'm stressed. I have major anxiety at the moment... and I can't wait until tomorrow morning, because that means the night will be over and I will have my happy girl again. Night time SUCKS.