My Sleeping Beauty

If you've been around my blog for a while then you know how hard of a time we had with Boogie when it came to naps and sleeping. I was adamant from the beginning that we would never allow her to cry it out or leave her if she needed comfort. I guess you could say we practice attachment parenting in that, and really many other aspects of parenting. You read everywhere how children will never learn to self soothe if you don't let them CIO, well I'm here to say that I have proven those naysayers WRONG. We have always comforted Boogie, held her, rocked her, nursed her, loved on her, sat with her... did whatever we could to ensure that she knew we were there for her as she fell asleep. My daughter turned 2 a few weeks ago and she is officially putting herself to sleep without us in the room with her. She does whine and sometimes pitches a fit (mainly during naptime), but she doesn't cry out of discomfort or fear. She lays down, squeezes her Ocean Wonders Soothe and Glow Seahorse so that it lights up and plays music, pulls her blanket up to her chin and lays there until she falls asleep. Granted, there are evenings when she is ornery and sneaks out of bed to play, or sits up in her bed saying, "Mommy. Daddy. Mommy. Daddy. Water? Hungry!" She's figured out how to stretch her awake time as long as possible, but lucky for us we're just a wee bit smarter, lol. On average it takes her about 15-20 minutes to fall asleep. So there. I'm sticking my tongue out at all of these professionals who swear up and down that CIO is the only way to go. We do sit with her or hold her when she is genuinely upset, like last week when she wasn't feeling well. But other than that kind of instance, she's on her own. My independent 2 year old. How did that happen?

Desperate for Sleep

I am at a complete loss. It doesn't matter what time this child goes to bed... either a noisy neighbor is waking her up or she's getting up at her own at 5am every freaking morning. I'm exhausted. Granted, J gets up with Boogie most mornings, but on his double shift days I do. I stay up doing homework, and at this stage in my pregnancy I'm not sleeping well anymore. I toss and turn (or should I say flop? because that's what it feels like now) all night, I don't have a restful sleep... I'm burnt out. I'm short with her, I'm impatient with her, I snap at her.... and I HATE that. She doesn't understand obviously but she does know that mommy is upset and somehow it's her fault. So she gets upset and then has a bad rest of the day. What do I do? How can we get her to sleep longer? We've tried earlier bedtimes, later bedtimes, making her room dark, allowing the hall light in her room, later naps, earlier naps.... nothing is working! What am I going to do when I'm awake every few hours with Bubby and even more tired than I am now and she does this?

Zzzzz...

When I was pregnant with Boogie, I was tired all. the. time. Not only was I tired, but I was sick all. the time.   I never got that boost of energy you hear about in second trimester, and although I did "nest" at the end of second trimester and the beginning of third, it took a lot out of me getting her room ready and everything. This time around, as soon as I hit about 14 weeks and my nausea went away I found so much energy! I got the house clean EVERY day! Dinner was cooked when J got home... it was amazing. Now I'm 25 weeks and 2 days and two weeks away from third trimester, and I have no energy. None. Nadda. Zilch. And the timing is awful.

I've mentioned it before, but this is my last semester at the local community college and I'll finally be done with my Associate's Degree (just general education). I'm taking TWO Biology classes and a literature class, because that is ALL I lack to graduate! Luckily they are all online so I can stay ahead and get as much done before Bubby arrives... but now I'm dreading how hard it's going to be with Boogie being a toddler and getting into everything and this new exhaustion I'm feeling. Today was rough. I left the same time J did for work to go pick up my books from the bookstore at school, and after waiting in line for 45 minutes I was told that there was a lock on my account and I'd need to go speak to financial aid. Wonderful. Up until this point Boogie was being a very good girl. Waited in financial aid for 45 minutes with about 40 other people, who a vast majority of were waiting for the same reason I was, to be told that it was a simple misunderstanding and to go try again. Luckily the guy who tried checking me out before didn't make me wait in line again and held my books for me until I came back. So about 2 hours later with a grumpy, hungry and sleepy toddler I was finally on my way... to my other errands.

There are only a few things we have left to purchase for Bubby. Main thing being a car seat, which I found the one I wanted at Babies R Us and it's on sale... so hopefully getting that on Friday. Other than that we lack a baby bath tub (we didn't use one with Boogie, we actually showered with her... but I don't see that being remotely possibly this time around), baby mittens (love those things), medela milk storage bags, bibs, and his coming home outfit. So I wanted to price a few things, including other things we don't necessarily need but I'd like to have, and then was going to come home and eat lunch. We got home later than planned, and ending up going to see mom at school (teacher work day)... that was a disaster. Boogie has become a very sensitive little girl and burst into tears when the main teacher mom works with was discussing changes to the room with my mom (they are both loud... we think Boogie thought he was angry with mom or something)... then the other assistant mom works with acted like she was crying (thinking it would make Boogie laugh) and she burst into tears... AGAIN. Yikes! I knew we needed to eat soon, so mom and the other assistant said it was fine to leave Boogie with them while I ran across the street to get us some lunch before heading to mom's house. I was gone MAYBE 15 minutes... and came back to Boogie in tears AGAIN! Needless to say... I was done for the day.

Things were better once we got to mom's, but I was exhausted. Boogie took a cat nap on the porch on my lap and then woke up long enough to play with them for a bit before mom left for her part time job. Now we're home... and luckily Boogie sat in my arms long enough for me to doze for a minute (I'm a light sleeper, she moves I wake up... works out well!) but I think that just made me feel worse!

So anyways, this new exhaustion hitting me is NOT fun. It doesn't make anything easy and I'm praying that I'll get through this semester and be able to graduate! Thanks for reading my mumble jumble of a vent. At least I'm almost in the last trimester.... right?

Rough Week

I really haven't had a great week. One thing I hate about being pregnant is how emotional it makes me, all my feelings and emotions become overpowering sometimes and this week has been the worst week I've had in quite a while. Boogie is very much like me, she is stubborn, headstrong, and all of that on top of being a toddler who struggles to communicate what she wants (despite having a huge vocabulary) equals a little girl who is absolutely miserable most days. She fights me to take naps (and while some have given me the advice to NOT fight her on this, I have to disagree... if I don't fight her she doesn't sleep, if she doesn't sleep she is grumpy all day, this in turn ends in a frustrating fight to get her to sleep at night. If I don't fight her to sleep at night she stays up ALL night, NO joke.), she is at an age where she is trying to hold her own and test me... slowly she is learning that when mommy says "NO." it means no, but it's a struggle. Time-outs are a frequent commodity in our household... but I'm determined that spanking is not going to happen in our family and that peaceful parenting is the way to go. What scares me is how violent she is with herself when she gets frustrated. She bangs her head against walls and on the floor, she scratches, smacks, and pinches herself... all in frustration. I have been good about remaining calm, comforting her and talking to her... but it's hard.

Beyond that however, Boogie is a good girl... really. She's so smart, she learns so much just in one day and is just getting to be such a big girl. But as much as I love her, I will say that even though I enjoy being with her and having her company all the time... I need more adult interaction. We are a one car family right now, it's not really a choice, it's just the way it has to be right now. On top of that in an apartment in another building beside us a new family moved in with a pit bull. Now, before I go on... I don't believe all pit bull's are bad or mean or dangerous. This dog however has been let outside without a restraint multiple times and has attacked people and a CHILD in our neighborhood and NOBODY has called the cops on them. I have called but according to them, unless I witness an incident first hand then there's nothing I can do. So, therefore I am terrified to take my child on a walk, take her outside to play, or even just a walk down to our mailbox to check the mail. Combine that with Justin taking the car to work (because he gets up VERY early) and you have a mommy and daughter who are stuck in an apartment and MISERABLE. It's taking a toll on me, and it's obviously taking a toll on my little girl. I don't know what to do anymore... we're just stuck. I'm hoping and praying that when our lease is up in March (which is TOO long from now) that we will be able to find a house with 3 bedrooms to rent... I need a yard for Boogie to run in and an oasis that I feel free to walk outside in. I'm over all this... I'm SO ready to have this baby, get through the holidays and be done with this neighborhood and done with  being stuck in the apartment ALL the time.

Please pray for me and please pray for my daughter... I hope that she can start communicating a little better and get rid of some of the frustrations she feels.

Summer Blog Challenge, Day 19

Day 19: Something You're Proud of From the Last Few Days

Not really the last FEW days, but in the past week Boogie started sleeping in her big girl bed, and she's doing SO well! I can't believe how easy the transition was! She's growing so fast and before we know it she will be a big sister!

Summer Blog Challenge, Day 5

 Today's challenge is to share my short term goals this month and why I have those goals.

• Find out the baby's gender and start getting room decor ready! Why? Because I am always overly prepared... I will be almost 19 weeks when we find out the gender, that's almost halfway through my pregnancy! When I was pregnant with Boogie I had her room ready at 33 weeks, but the decor was ready way before that. This little one won't have his/her own room yet, but a section of our room will be dedicated to Sissy or Bubby. I want to take the same time and effort we did with Boogie's room for this little one as well. I have lots of fun ideas up my sleeve!
• Make a final decision about sleeping arrangements for Boogie. This has been really hard for me. We've decided to not co-sleep this go around, as much as I loved those all night snuggles with Boogie, and how much easier it was to nurse her that way... the fact is that nobody but Boogie slept well (and she even started not sleeping well around 8 or 9 months). And transitioning her to her crib was a nightmare... you can say what you want, I know that both ends of this argument can get nasty. This is our decision, we think it's best! Anyways, we want to use a crib after the first few months of using the co-sleeper... but that means getting Boogie out of her crib and into a toddler bed or twin size bed. Eek! I keep going back and forth and it's driving me insane!

Those are really the only goals for this month... after this month they'll start adding up though!

What A Roller Coaster...

Nothing is more frustrating than when your child won't sleep. This is something we have struggled with from the beginning. Sure, we've had our good nights, we've even had one night in the past few weeks when Boogie slept 8 hours straight (that was a WONDERFUL night)! I debated on whether I should even post this because it seems like anytime I mention sleep issues with someone (even our pediatrician) their immediate response is "Oh, just let her CIO, she'll be fine!" or "you're spoiling her by going to her when she cries" or even "stop nursing her so much and maybe she'll sleep!". No offense to anyone, but that's NOT helpful.

Last night was my confirmation that CIO doesn't work for my daughter. After sleeping for 3 hours, at 10pm Boogie woke up and I could not get her back to sleep. She pitched a full out temper tantrum. I couldn't hold her, I couldn't comfort her, so I set her in the floor and let her pitch her fit until she was done. After about 20 minutes she finally finished, laid back against me and fell asleep. Only problem was that in order to get her up I had to move her and then stand up... which of course woke her up. Since she was at least still calm, I rocked her and nursed her and praised the Lord that she fell back asleep so easily. At least I thought it was easily. The moment I laid her down her eyes popped open and she went into another screaming fit. So I went through the same cycle again. And what happened? Her eyes popped open AGAIN. I hate asking J to get up on nights when he has to work early the next morning, but after an hour of this I didn't know what else to do. So he went in and held her, she would quiet down for a few minutes and then all of a sudden she'd start screaming again! We THINK her gums were hurting her, she kept grabbing her mouth and point in it, so although I am not a fan of Tylenol we gave her some in the hopes that maybe it would help her with the pain, relax her and help her sleep. Nights like this I could care less whether I sleep, I care more that my daughter is in pain and isn't resting well! She calmed down again for about 15 minutes but then J couldn't get her to sleep... so at this point I'm getting pretty frustrated.

As a side note, my spring semester of classes started up last week and the only time I have to get my homework done (I take online classes) is in the evenings. We're talking 4-8 hours of work here EVERY night. I hadn't finished everything I needed to do, so I decided to just let Boogie run around the living room, get any energy out that she had so I could finish my homework. In the back of my mind I hoped that she would wear herself out and just lay down and go to sleep. Ha! Yea, right. At 11:00, after realizing that while playing she had basically squished every bit of urine out of her night time diaper, I changed her jammies and diaper, read her a book, prayed with her, and sang to her while rocking her. She fell asleep. But as soon as I went to move her so I could lay her down her eyes popped open! BOOGIE! So I held her and rocked her and sang "You Are My Sunshine" over and over and over. Nothing seemed to work. I tried sitting in the floor again. I tried holding her, but she just pushed me away. You could tell she was exhausted, she was constantly rubbing her eyes, pulling on her ears (Boogie has always done this when she's tired, the indicator of an ear infection for her was digging in her ears, not pulling), but she continued to pitch tantrum after tantrum. At this point, I didn't know what to do. So I put her in her crib.

When I put her in the crib she cried. Then she fussed. Then she screamed. But her crying and fussing was entirely a tantrum, so I didn't feel bad about letting her "CIO" at this point. I sat in the rocking chair and sang. The only song that has ever helped me get her to sleep is the same song that my own mom sang to me. I really should learn the rest of the lyrics though, because I only two... and they get really old after 2 hours of singing it. Boogie did everything to keep herself awake. Head-butting her bed, walking around her crib holding onto the side. Throwing herself back onto the bed (this part was a little frightening, I was afraid she was going to whack her head on the crib). At 12:15am, after an hour of letting her get her anger and frustrations out, she really started to cry. Typically a mother can distinguish her child's cries... Boogie has a "mommy milk" cry, a "I'm in pain" cry, a "I'm not getting my way" cry, and her hilarious fake cry (which I really need to video tape...). The cry she had at this point was the "I just need you mommy" cry. Huge tears pouring down her face, plopped in the middle crib looking defeated... she was finally ready for my cuddles. I was so relieved. I hate when she gets to the point where my cuddling doesn't help her. So, I grabbed my girl out of her crib, held her close, nursed her to her heart's content... and she was asleep. Dreamy, lips still puckered as if still nursing, hands above her head, sprawled out and completely asleep. Thank you GOD.

I truly believe that if I had continued to let Boogie cry she would have continued to keep herself awake. I don't know why Boogie acted the way she did last night, normally I can calm her down a lot faster than I was able too... but for whatever reason last night was a rough night. I was hoping that after all that she would sleep for several hours, but after about 2 hours she was up again. Then another 2 hours... and then another 2 hours. So at 6am I gathered her in my arms, sleepily trudged into the living room, fell back into the recliner and the two of us slept til 8am this morning.

You can think what you want... I can't make you think otherwise, but I have high hopes that at some point this whole sleep thing will just click for my baby girl. It's obvious that she CAN and is able to sleep for long stretches, but at this point if she wants/needs mommy's comfort, if she wants/needs mommy's milk... then I will offer it to her. My mother says I was as rotten about sleep as Boogie is, and I love sleep now. So... even if it's not til my child is in her 20's... someday she WILL sleep!

Poop Happens.

Yea, I said poop. I don't curse, otherwise I'd say something else! I have never been more sick of changing poopy nasty diapers than this week... I have even been tempted to just go buy a box of disposables until this tummy thing is OVER! But I KNOW that those sposies would never hold all this poo like her cloth do. Ay yi yi. I have gone through more cloth this week than when Boogie was a newborn... I've washed 4 loads of diapers already this week.... and on a normal week I'd have just now washed a 3rd load.... but today. I'll be washing the 5th load. Ew. What's worse is that Boogie NEVER poops at night, but now because of this bug or whatever it is she has, she sleeps a 4-5 hour stretch (which is AWESOME), wakes up to nurse, and then poops. Then what does she do? She's up for the day... there's no getting this girl back to sleep. So we've been up since 4am, I've got a load of clothes washing... and as soon as those are done, her next load of diapers will be washed. Boogie's watching a Veggie Tales movie while I drink a glass of water and pretend it has loads of caffeine in it and pray that in about an hour or two we can both lay on the couch and take a long LONG nap.

Too Much Going On!

I hate nights like these when I'm absolutely exhausted, but I just can't seem to get my brain to shut off long enough to drift to sleep. There's so many life changing events that are kind of up in the air at the moment, we're not sure how everything will pan out so that has left me a wee bit stressed out... among other things. I am constantly thinking about the possibility of moving and how it might affect Boogie... we've struggled with getting her to sleep in her own room, so I wonder if moving into a new home with a new room in an unfamiliar place will throw her for a loop. Then I think about how Christmas AND Boogie's birthday is just 2 months away and how everyone expects us to be here and there and in between... which most likely will not be happening. Despite J having to work on Christmas Day, I think we're still going to spend the day at home and not venture out. I hate having to go 24/7 to please everyone, and it's really not fair to Boogie to have to get her in and out of the car when everyone should be coming to see her, rather than going to see them.... right?


I guess I'm rambling a lot... but I needed to get all of this off my chest in the hopes that I might be able to zonk out for about 20 minutes before Boogie wakes up AGAIN. (And no, I'm not being sarcastic, it truly could be 20 minutes). So... I'm stressed. Lord, please be with me these next few weeks! I need you now more than ever!

Dear Boogie...

Dear Boogie,

I love you. You're beautiful.... but please for goodness sakes STOP SCREAMING AT ME! You're okay. Mommy is two feet away on the other side of the gate. I'm doing laundry. YOUR laundry. I'm washing the diapers and your onsies, and your pants and socks and all the little pieces of clothing you dirty up on a daily basis. You can also stop following me into the bathroom every time I have to pee. It's okay for mommy to pee ALONE. Seriously... it's okay for mommy to step away for two seconds to have some alone time, it's okay to sit and play with your toys while mommy gets some things done. I will play with you the rest of the day! I will nurse you! And feed you! And change your yucky diapers! I promise! I know you like to stay with me 24/7 and sometimes I wear you so that you CAN be with me at all times... but today, I need to step away and just be by myself! Okay? So really... stop shrieking!

Love mommy.


Seriously. All day. All day my daughter has been screaming at me. And all I have done is step to the other side of the gate to put a load of laundry in the dryer. I've tried to put her down for her first nap THREE times today, and she refuses to sleep! The only time she's been happy today is when she's attached to my boob. At this very moment she is standing at the other side of our room separation gate and screaming blood murder at me because I'm ignoring her. I just want 5 minutes! So I'm blogging and ignoring her. Mother of the year award! Now... time to try nap attempt #4.

Sigh...

We're going through some major separation anxiety over here. Boogie gets hysterical when I leave the room, when I try to put her down for her nap, if I hand her to J... it's driving me crazy. I say that, not because her wanting me is driving me crazy, but because her always needing me is stressing me out. I can't get a minute alone, I can't hand her over to J and ask him to put her to bed because she won't let him! I'm stressed. I'm tired. And no... don't offer to babysit, because at this point, it will only make matters worse. Sorry for being snotty, but there you go.

As for nighttime, I stopped keeping track of it... she woke up so many times last night that I was in a complete daze and early this morning I asked J to go sleep on the couch (he had about an hour until he had to get up for work) so that I could bring Boogie to bed and get some sleep.

So there. I'm tired. I'm stressed. I have major anxiety at the moment... and I can't wait until tomorrow morning, because that means the night will be over and I will have my happy girl again. Night time SUCKS.

Operation I Want My Bed Back... Night 2

Night 2 sucked to be frank. But before we get to that, let's talk about our first napping experience with the crib. yesterday was our first time getting Boogie to nap in her crib. I was really afraid she'd fight me and not sleep at all, and since she slept in until 11 that morning I planned on putting her down for one nap. She went down like a breeze... it was AMAZING. I nursed her at 3:10pm, she was down by 3:20pm and didn't wake up until 4:30pm. Not the longest nap in the world, but it was a whole hour of ME time. Spectacular!



Now... bedtime was not so spectacular. Here are the details:



7pm - started our bedtime routine (bath, pjs, books, nurse...)
8:10pm - got her in her crib
8:45pm - she woke up....
8:48pm - went back down relatively quickly
9:30pm - awake AGAIN
9:31pm - went back asleep with just a few pats
10:40pm - and awake again
10:45pm - again, went to sleep with a little patting and head rubbing
11:40pm - and again... awake
12:09am - fell asleep after some rocking and bouncing
2:15am - slept about 2 hours, so we thought hey, maybe she'll sleep a little longer next time...
3:36am - or not.... at this point she is STILL awake, so I nurse her thinking maybe she's hungry?
3:44am - she leaked on me from the constant tushie patting, so she got a diaper change
4am - 2 hours later, she's asleep. Ay yi yi.
5:55am - awake again, so I tell J to just bring her to bed. We're all exhausted.
6:05am - after biting me and not going to sleep... back to her bedroom we go
7am - for the past hour I left J and Boogie to get some rest. I was in and out of consciousness because Boogie cried the entire time... poor J :( So after all that, we bring her back to our bed again, I nurse her, and we all pass out.
10:15am - wake up super exhausted and hoping tonight is a better night.



So yea. Last night was ROUGH. Naptime was good though, she went down at 1:20pm and slept until 2:25! And tonight she was up twice between 7:30pm and 8:45pm, but she's been down since 9pm and it's not 11pm... so I'm hopeful for a better night!

Operation I Want My Bed Back

Yep... Operating I Want My Bed Back is under way! Last night was our first night getting Boogie to sleep in her own bed and in her own room. I've been fighting with myself as to whether or not this was the right time to do this or not. Boogie is 9 months old now and while I LOVE cuddling with her, she takes up SO much room in our bed, and she had started nursing ALL night long. The night before last I felt overwhelming peace that this decision was right, that not only Boogie was ready but I was ready to let my baby girl grow up. It's hard... because you don't want your children to get big, but it has to happen. I prayed and prayed about whether what I was choosing to do was healthy and good for Boogie, and I think my Father approved! So this is how it went...

7:00pm: J gave Boogie her bath, put on her nighttime dipe and pj's, read her her books, and then I nursed her and rocked her.
7:20pm: I laid her down, and she DIDN'T WAKE UP. I was shocked! I didn't have to fight with her at all!
8:20pm: An hour later she woke up, she was a little upset but nothing too serious in the beginning. After about 30 minutes of her trying to stand up, fussing, and us laying her back down, she got so upset that (as in real crying, and not fake crying) that I picked her up, rocked her and nursed her until she went back to sleep. She woke up when I laid her down, but once J started rubbing her head and I started singing "You Are My Sunshine" to her, she was out!
9:15: This is what time she went back to sleep.
11:30pm: She woke up fussing, so nothing to serious. I just went in and patted her for about 5 minutes and she got very upset. So I picked her up and just held her and she immediately went back to sleep. I laid her back down and she was out.
11:40pm: Asleep
1:20am: Woke up just like before, went through the same routine.
1:34am: Asleep
This is where it gets rough.
3:10am: She woke up very upset, so I picked her up and did the same rocking/bouncing routine as before. She immediately fell asleep.
3:12am: Asleep in crib
3:15am: As soon as I got comfy in my bed, she was super upset again. So I repeated the steps I did before.
3:17am: Asleep in crib.
4:15am: Fussed and fussed... then started laughing and cooing so I sat in my rocking chair for about 20 minutes while she did this and laid her back down every time she sat up or stood up. After that I went and laid down and just listened to her babble hoping she would go back down.
4:45am: She started getting upset, so I went and patted her belly and sang to her, but nothing helped. At about 5am I took her out, rocked her and nursed her for about 5 minutes and laid her back down.
5:10am: Asleep in crib
6:15am: By this point, I'm exhausted... Boogie woke up crying real tears and no matter what I did she wouldn't go down. I rocked her, patted her, bounced her... nothing. So fighting tears myself, I took her back to bed and nursed her and we both slept until 11:15am

So. There you go. Wasn't a horrible night, it was exhausting, but better than I thought it would be. I hope to not have to bring her to bed every morning like that... but for the time being and for my own sanity that's what I'm doing until she sleeps a little better at night. Since we woke up so late, I'm going to just get her down for 1 nap, hopefully in her crib.. .and then we'll repeat our night time routine with J and he will be able to help over night this weekend since he's off!

If you want more info on this type of sleeping training, it's a type of Non-CIO training I found in The No Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep by Elizabeth Pantley combined with some tips on a sleeping board on babycenter. Here's a link to the post I used: How to Sleep Train Without CIO

Patience

Patience... that's something I'm struggling with lately. We've started Elah on a schedule of sorts, we're not necessarily making her nap at the same time everyday, but we are having her nap every 2-3 hours. So far, it's working fairly well, however, bedtime is an entirely different story. My girl sleeps GREAT... once she gets to sleep. After trying CIO for about an hour during a nap one day, I have decided that it's really just NOT for us. Not only was it very upsetting for me, but Elah was hysterical... gasping for air, turning purple. And that, I was not OK with. The plan is to have her nap every 2-3 hours all day, which usually means 3 naps a day, nursing before each nap. Then, bedtime routine was starting at 7 (or depending on her last nap a little later if needed) with a bath/shower, 30 minutes of playtime, 2 or 3 books in bed, and then we lay down and I nurse her to sleep. It had been working... until tonight. I'm thinking 7 might be too early, so we might go back to 8, and work our way down to an early bedtime. She fought me and J all evening. We did our routine as usual, and she DID fall asleep, but she woke up after 15 minutes ready to play. I tried nursing her, rocking her, holding her, walking with her, everything! I was incredibly frustrated and quickly losing my patience, so we finally just sat in the floor with her and played for an HOUR until she was too tired to play anymore. I nursed her for 7 minutes and she was asleep.

I really didn't mind waking up with my newborn every couple of hours to feed her, because I knew at that time in her life she NEEDED that nourishment and mommy/baby time. NOW... I'm not so patient or excited about it. Elah sleeps through the night, she is very capable of doing so without nursing... so when she wakes up wanting to play or be cuddled... I do it, but I'm usually very frustrated about it. We will continue to co-sleep, for everyone's sanity, but after her 1st birthday, when I feel like she is ready and can understand a little better that when it's time for bed, it's TIME for bed... then we might revisit CIO. Until then... I'm staying FAR, far away!

Please pray for my sweet Elah, pray that she finds sweet dreams and has a pooplosion tomorrow. (Really... she NEEDS to poop). Amen! ;-)

Once a Month Menu Plan UPDATE!

Well, we've tried quite a few of the meals we froze at the beginning of this month... so far the soup, quiche, black beans and rice, breakfast burritos, and muffins have been the only things we've liked :( . The not so good were the lemon chicken... it wasn't awful but it wasn't great either... the chinese morsels (awful), broccoli chicken (ew), and corn chowder (didn't freeze well AT ALL). We haven't tried the Teryaki chicken or Wild Rice chicken yet... so let's hope they're a bit better!

And now I have to run... been fighting with Boogie to sleep since 9pm and Justin isn't having any luck. 11pm is WAY too late for my sweet sleepy girl to be awake!

Breastfeeding & Co-Sleeping... Like PB&J!

We Go Together Like… Breastfeeding and Co-Sleeping | Evolutionary Parenting | Breastfeeding and Sleeping Arrangements - How To Be A Better Parent

MIA for a few days...

Or a tleast until this lack of sleep thing stops :(

Boogie is struggling with nighttime sleep now... it wasn't even this bad when she was a newborn! I've heard that around 7 months a lot of babies go through this, so hopefully it's just something developmental or her teeth bothering her. We did our normal bedtime routine... bath, pj's, books, nurse, bed... but she would NOT go to sleep. It took me well over an hour to just get her to sleep initially... then she was up EVERY 30 minutes wanting to nurse and wanting to play. Finally, around 4 or so she got tired enough and went to sleep, woke around 8 to nurse again and then slept until 11. Sounds great, but I didn't sleep very heavily because I was expecting her to jault me out of my sleep ready to nurse again. Ay-yi-yi! I was super productive yesterday and got SO much done around the house... but I'm thinking today is a eat, sleep, watching Netflix day... yea, sounds good.

Growing Too Fast

I know, I know... I say it all the time. Boogie's growing too fast, feels like yesterday I brought her home, she's so big... blah blah blah. Well... SHE IS. My almost 7 month old has moved up to 9-12 month sleepers. The only reason I even put one of that size on her was because we were WAY behind on laundry and she didn't have ANY sleepers or long sleeve onsies or tights clean. So I grabbed a larger one and told J that it would be too big, but it would work for now. I was wrong, it fit her perfect. My tiny little girl isn't so tiny anymore, and after seeing how she's gone through clothes the last 7 months... in about a month we'll be packing up all her 6-9 month clothing. I'm pretty sure I JUST pulled those out and hung them up. Oh Boogie!

We also are trying something new for bedtime. We had an arm's reach co-sleeper attached to our bed... which I LOVE, however, Boogie has gotten so used to sleeping in bed with us that she refused to sleep in it. I'd nurse her to sleep, make sure she was sleeping well and then transfer her to the co-sleeper and she'd be awake within in an hour or so. I don't regret having her sleep in bed with me, but I don't want transitions to her own bed later on to be super traumatic so I knew something had to be done now. So, we side-carred her crib to our bed (we turned it into the toddler day bed with the mattress raised as high as it would go so that it was basically the same height as our bed). There isn't any seperation like there was in the co-sleeper (slight ledge on it that prevented her from being able to see us) so she sleeps much better. She does wake up a few times, reach out for me and wake because I'm not as close as she's used too... but I think she's slowly realizing that we're still right here and I can definately see a difference just from last night to tonight. Once she starts REALLY sleeping through the night (meaning no dream feeds or waking at all) we will detach her crib from our bed and put the side back on. She'll still be in our room for a while... and then once she's used to that and sleeps that way for a while we'll transition her to her room. Hopefully things will go smoothly and we'll have her in her own room before we get pregnant with Baby Massey #2. We have plenty of time though, so I'm not worried!

Anyways, just thought I'd post a little update on my growing Boogie... and here's a picture of Boogie in her new pj's...

What a Mess, What a Glorious Mess!

At this moment there are dishes piled high in our kitchen, crumbs and stains all over the stove, all our towels and rags are dirty (hence the dirty stove), piles of dirty laundry and sorted in the living room ready to be washed, bags of outgrown clothing is scattered around Boogie's room, toys are EVERYWHERE, clothes hangers in every nook and cranny imaginable, furniture in odd places in our bedroom, and a bathroom in desperate need of some lysol. That's my house right now... it's driving me insane BUT Boogie took a nap by herself today. For 45 glorious minutes I was able to finish a load of diaper laundry, check my facebook without little hands trying to help me type, and have a snack. For 45 astonishing minutes I wasn't be yelled at in baby talk for not paying attention, listening to "where's my mommy" cries because I left the room, or lying in bed praying that she'd stay asleep long enough for me to go pee if I get up. I know it might sound trivial to you non parental figures.... but it was the best part of my day having a few minutes to take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy the peace. Even better than that? For the last 15 minutes of her nap I just sat and looked at her... so peaceful, so content... and she didn't need me. Sad and exciting all at the same time! I've been praying for a breakthrough like this for her, I've been praying that she could take a small step away from me and just do something independently, and she did! It may not happen again for days, weeks, or possibly months.... but she did it today. And those 15 minutes of gazing at this beautiful little girl God knit in my womb was the best 15 minutes I spent today.

A Growth Spurt?

This time yesterday we were doing this...

Yea. Playing. And mommy was super tired. Normally, the three of us cozy up on the couch, I put on my handy dandy twin brest friend (Janelle gave it to me... hence the twin part... it's rather large but I can switch Brookie from one side to the other without adjusting lol) and nurse her to sleep while J and I watch a movie or something. She wasn't having that last night. So 9pm J goes to bed after I bounced Boogie to sleep and got comfortable in the armchair. I think things are great... I can relax, blog, maybe watch a movie before going to bed. But no... 9:15 she starts stirring, so I pop out the boob to comfort her back to sleep. She drifts off and then BAM WHAM KABOOM... she's awake again, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Doesn't want to lay down, doesn't want mommy to sit down, wants to play play play mommy! This goes on from about 9:30 to MIDNIGHT last night. So she starts rubbing her eyes, and I decide to take her to bed and turn on Buffy (my latest Netflix kick) until she falls asleep. She's out within minutes and I'm super excited! I fall asleep and it feels like minutes later she's up AGAIN. Then we repeat that process... over and over and over ALL night. It was miserable, I felt like I had a newborn again. I prayed all day that this was a fluke, that my good sleeper was still in there somewhere. She fought me a little tonight, but she went down around 9:30 in bed, so here's hoping she sleeps ALL night like her usual self!