Nonsense

I am completely stressed and frustrated lately... I'm not even sure how I'm staying together at this point! Last night I was looking over what classes I would need next semester in order to graduate, I only have FOUR classes left... which would be perfect, except THREE need to be science. Yea, science. My LEAST favorite subject, and there's NO way I could take 3 in one semester. I also have to take a literature class, which is ONLY offered on campus, along with two our of three of those science classes. So now, I have to figure out how I'm going to do that. I'm OK with leaving Boogie at home with J... but it's the in between time I'm worried about. We are a one car family, I'd have to have a babysitter for 30 minutes to an hour between the time where I would go to school and J would get off. Ugh! I may have to take random classes next semester that will go towards my future degree, and take more classes next Fall. I'm BEYOND annoyed at this point. I'm so ready to be DONE.

Then you have J's exam... we were hoping to pay for his certifying exam this fall so he could take it in the Spring... well after getting the clothing we needed for Boogie and paying bills... we can't afford it. Not only that, but he needs time to study for his final exam for the course first, and I don't think that's going to happen before we would need to pay for his other exam. So now we have to wait until next Fall. It's not a big deal really, but I know he wants to get it over with and we both want to move on with our lives and see what life has in store for us.

On top of all that, in the past few weeks I've learned and remembered why I stick to the friends I know well. After a while people start showing their true colors, and it ends up being that I don't want to be around them or my daughter around them. It SUCKS. I'm thankful to have two friends in this area that I can talk to, even if we're all to busy to hang out... I'm still blessed to have them in my lives. Poor Janelle has been swamped for the past month with sick kiddos, seems like every time one gets better another one gets sick! I love you friend! We will see each other eventually lol! Christa's life is crazy hectic... but we talk constantly, so even though I don't SEE her, I still know I have someone to talk to when I'm cooped up in this house! I also have a group of "virtual" friends that I've known since J and I started TTC... so for almost four years I've had a group of women to go to for just about anything! It's wonderful, because even though our group is diverse and different, we can have civil conversations about any topic and nobody gets upset or starts a bunch of drama because they don't agree on something. It's WONDERFUL.

I guess to sum it all up... I'm feeling sorry for myself today! It happens... you know? I'm just tired of feeling like I'm working my tail off to find more disappointment when it comes to school... I'm tired of thinking I have new mommy friends when really they aren't who they make themselves out to be.... and I'm tired of being stuck in this house ALL the freaking time! Did I mention that there have been rabid foxes spotted here? Not super close to our apartment, but it's still keeping me from taking Boogie for walks... I'd love to walk to the library, or down to the school to see mom with her, but that's not happening anytime soon! Ay yi yi! Ok... vent over. Sorry to anyone who just read all of that nonsense!

Beyond Aggravated

Alright. If you don't want to listen to my venting then STOP reading now. I have volunteered my time... well technically I'm getting paid, but the it's not enough to really even show WHAT I have to do when I volunteer. I can't go into much detail, but I can say that it is a bible study for children (fun right?) during another kind of bible study for the parents and other adults. I really enjoy working with these kids (atleast most of the time... there are teenagers also, so that makes it a little more difficult), but we have started a new lesson plan. The lesson plan is GREAT, it really is, I like it, and I think the KIDS will like it. Notice I said kids. But I don't just have kids in this group, I have a toddler, elementary KIDS and preteens and teens. So. This program, like I said is great for kids, the preteens and teens will most definately turn their noses up to it... I say this because I know that at their age I would have turned my nose up. So I decided I would revamp it a bit for the teenagers, use the leader guide as literally a guide but make the lesson appropriate for all ages and change up the schedule a bit to fit the kids I take care of. But oh no. I can't do that. The head hancho (sp?) said that by using this program it HAS to be followed step by step, no going over the boundaries... zippo zadda. zip. I asked for a budget... ERRR. not granted. So what am I supposed to do then? Isn't the whole POINT to get all the kids psyched and involved with the program? To be excited about serving and learning about the Lord? Isn't that the purpose? I'm sorry, but with ANY lesson plan, sometimes they just don't work for all children, and this is one of those cases. What the crap am I supposed to do? Now with that said, I really respect this head hancho person. I have known this person my ENTIRE life. But really?

Let me give an example as to what I wanted to change for THIS week. Each night is scheduled in 15-40 min increments, one of the 30 min increments is center time. I only have 10 kids that show up, and they all rarely show up every week. There are about 6 that show up almost every week. Centers (3 centers to be exact) is to much for a small group...and to be honest some of the centers are TOO advanced for the younger ones, and too juvenile for the older ones. So I thought, well I wanted to incorporate a "food craft" because what kid doesn't like playing with their food? So instead of the centers the program offers I decided to do "mud". What is mud? Chocolate pudding, crushed oreos, gummy worms and preferably make it all SUGAR FREE. I got a definite no to this. And frankly, I almost want to bring lots of sugary things and let this head hancho person deal with the children for one night and see if he can get everyone hyped up and loving the lesson plan.

Let's just say I really hope I get a job soon that requires me to work evenings... then I really will say sayanara!