Peace Be Still

If you don't know so already, I am the childcare provider for Celebrate Recovery at our church. We have about 12 kids ranging in ages from 1 year to 14 years (I know, BIG difference). Well we have recently started a new bible study that sort of follows along with the adults bible study, except ours is called Celebration Station. Last night our lesson was called "Powerless" and we talked about how Jesus calmed the storm. If you don't know this story already, you can read it in Luke, chapter 8, verses 22-25. Essentially, Jesus and His disciples are sailing across the Sea of Galilee when this huge storm develops. Jesus is sound asleep while His disciples are freaking out and yelling, "We're going to drown! Master wake up! We are going to drown!" When Jesus wakes he simply says, "Why can't you trust me? What happened to your faith?" and he asks the storm to calm and the waves to level out... and all is well.

I know that lately, especially with the economy the way it is right now, we are all facing storms of our own. But we should know by now that Jesus is faithful, He is always there no matter our circumstances... and I just wanted to share that with YOU tonight. If God led you to my blog tonight... then maybe this is what you needed to hear! God Bless.

Holy Cow!

Ok. This is possibly one of the most unbelievable things that has ever happened to me... and I know it's all because of my Savior! Justin and I were freaking out... we were going to have enough money to pay our bills.... but NOT enough to buy groceries or put gas in our cars. Literally... I had one thing of ground beef, condiments, and some soup in my kitchen. Well yesterday I noticed that online, our bank showed that we had over 300 dollars in our account... which was strange because everything I had recorded had gone through. So I told Justin that I would find a spreadsheet and rerecord everything and check my math. Back in September I got a refund from AB Tech, it was a nice chunk of money that helped fix up our house. Well apparently when I recorded one of our purchases I subtracted a little too much. We have had over 300 dollars in our account this entire time. We bought groceries, put gas in our cars, and Mudgett is getting his final puppy shots tomorrow :) I learned a valuable lesson. I know now that no matter what happens God IS and forever more will be by my side. I know that he caused that little hiccup in my checkbook and I KNOW he did that to teach me this lesson. GOD IS GOOD. ALL THE TIME!

Forgiven

I apologize for my previous rant. You ever just have one of those days? That is why I LOVE this blog. No limits! I can rant and rave and fight through my emotions until I feel better and nobody can stop me! What's even better is that I know despite my anger and disappointment... I am forgiven. Forgiven for every sin committed, forgiven for every slip of a naughty word, forgiven for every stray though... this wonderful Jewish carpenter suffered through horrendous beatings and a monstrous death in order to save my soul. Wow. What more could a person say? I think it's simply AMAZING.

I have decided to start brand new today. Since moving into our new home I have become incredibly lazy, now before you jump to any conclusions this is partly from having to sit around doing homework nonstop (I can't wait for Christmas break!) and not being able to have the time to do anything else! But then again, there are some moments when I just don't want to do the laundry, or I don't want to take the dogs out! That is changing today. I am determined to take a new step in my life and make a better effort. My husband has been so wonderful, I am constantly working on papers and catching up on homework so he dutifully does the laundry, washes the dishes, and does other household chores that I don't ever seem to have time to do. I have a lot of homework and papers to write tonight, but I AM going to finish washing, drying, folding and putting away the laundry. I WILL make sure there are no dishes in the sink. The puppies will be taken out and I will be patient while they do their business. My house will be clean for once, and I will actually mop those dirty floors and vacuum those dusty rugs. I have a goal and I will meet it. And once that's done I will make a scrumptious dinner to thank my spectacular husband for being the man of my dreams. Then I will work on my homework.




ps. Prayers might actually help this goal... any takers? ;-)

Something Small to Be Thankful For

On Saturday mornings I have made an effort to attempt to get all the laundry done, unless ofcourse my amazing husband has already achieved that goal during my school week. Today, as I was loading the washing machine I was thinking about my laundry days at the apartment in Tennessee. I loved that apartment, it was a townhouse apartment, two stories, two bedrooms, roomy and I LOVED it. One downfall though. No washer and dryer hookups! So ofcourse we had to walk to the laundry facility at the complex... and on days like today I would make every excuse in the world NOT to do the laundry! Too cold! So I realized how blessed I am to be living in this house, besides the fact that is affordable and allows me to work part time and go to school, I have a washer and dryer IN my house. Isn't that a wonderful blessing?

What's the Best Part of Autumn?

Playing in the leaves!

These are from my phone... so they are a bit blurry... but you gotta love those Flint Kids ;-)

Praise You in This Storm

So this week has been rough... well who am I kidding? This YEAR has been rough! So I've been down in the dumps and ofcourse feeling sorry for myself. And then I hear this song...






It's like POW! In your face Sarah! I will praise you in this storm... and that's what I should be doing, so last night I did. I even made a video of myself singing (but I will NOT be posting it... because when I start REALLY singing and feeling it... I look CRAZY!). So here I am. Letting everything go.

I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say amen and it's still raining as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away. And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm I remember when I stumbled in the wind You heard my cry to Youand raised me up again my strength is almost gone how can I carry on if I can't find You and as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain "I'm with you"and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away I lift my eyes onto the hills where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth I lift my eyes onto the hills where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

God is in Control Sarah!

I have constantly struggled with fully relying on Christ from day 1. I am a control freak. There I admitted it. I like things to go MY way, and if they don't go my way, I totally freak. (Just ask my husband! LOL) I am working on finding a way to remind myself to let things go and let God handle it. Something I have thought about a lot is getting a tattoo on my wrist, obviously at the moment I can't afford one, so it's out of the question, but it's still something I think about. Don't you ever feel like you need a constant reminder that says to you, "Remember GOD is in control."? I thought about getting some sort of bracelet or ring that could remind me, but I have just never gotten around to it. I'm struggling with contentment, I'm struggling with letting go of control, and I'm struggling with listening to God's call for me. I feel like my life is a constant back and forth pattern where I am constantly changing my mind because I think I'm doing what God's asking, but then I'm thinking maybe that's not what He meant? I'm trying whole heartedly (is that a word?) to listen to Him, and find His words for me... but it is so hard! Another thing I am really struggling with is comparing my life to those around me... I have to stop doing that. My life is grand, I have an amazing husband, precious puppies who I adore, a roof over my head and food in my pantry... yes there are things missing from my life that I still want more than anything, but I have to keep telling myself that for now, I am content. I need to be content. God is in control. Perhaps I should just go find a permanent marker and right God is in control on my wrist.... maybe more pondering from me later.

Sick

My entire body is aching, my head is pounding, my nose is running, my throat is swollen from coughing, I'm cold and sweaty and I'm so dizzy I literally crawled to the kitchen to get some water this morning. I have been like this since Saturday afternoon. I started feeling "odd" Saturday morning. Luckily I'm on Fall Break until Wednesday... unluckily I have a lot of assignments due on Wednesday that I haven't even been able to start on due to this illness. I am currently laying on the couch watching the news... I've got about 5 blankets on me and I am still shivering... Mudgett is curled around my head and Snickers is wrapped around my feet. I'm so over this. UGH.

Way Overwhelmed

I wish things could be easier... just for even a week. I need a job yesterday. Yes, I have had many many interviews, I even got offered a few positions... but what good is a job if I'm driving across the county and only working enough hours to pay for the gas to get to that job and home? Or what good is a job that requires you sell credit cards to earn your hours... that is so unreliable! I put in two resumes/applications in the past week. One application was for Aldi, they pay REALLY well. The other I sent my resume to was for a church about 45 minutes from here for a position that consists of helping with the youth, worship and administrative duties. I'd love either job. I called Aldi this morning, and apparently they are still taking apps and not ready to call anyone just yet. I have gotten several emails from the pastor at the church, but they are all emails with additional questions about my work experience and history. I am so frustrated, overwhelmed and exhausted with applying for jobs. And honestly life is just pissing me off right now. I love my husband. He is GREAT. But I don't think he understands how much work I'm putting into school right now. Going to school is a full time job with overtime. If you add up the hours I am in class with the hours I am studying and doing homework... on average I'm working almost 60 hours a week. NO KIDDING. I was a little alarmed with that number when I added it up! And I have to get a PT job. I have told my husband over and over, please keep looking for a PT job in case I can't find one... and obviously I haven't found one yet. But apparently it would be too much for him to work 2 jobs... but its NOT too much for me to do my 60 hrs of school AND work a PT job? I'm sorry but I think that's a little backwards. I know he blames me for the situation we're in. He says it's not my fault, but I know that he still blames me. I'm the one that took the job in TN, I'm the one that got laid off, and I'm the one who has yet to find a job. My decision to go back to school was a long thought out plan, I prayed about it and talked with my friends and family about it... and I came to the final decision to go back to school to make a better life for my husband and I... and our future family. But I don't think Justin realizes that I can't just breeze through school and get my degree. I have to work my butt off! I am so tired of everything that is going on right now. There are some days when I just want to throw up my hands and say "I quit!" to school, to church, to all the things I have commited myself too. Today is just one of those days that I want to quit... and give up. Days like today are days when I feel like God is testing me... and frankly I hate it. I'm ready for a new life. I'm tired of looking at other people's lives and saying "Why not me?" Why can't we get out of this rut? Why can't we get out of this hole we have dug for ourselves? I have cried out for my Lord so many times, and even though I know He hears me... it doesn't feel like He's listening. I need a day of good things. Why does earth have to be so crappy? Days like today I want to grab Eve and slap her a few good times. I'm just ready for some changes. I'm thankful we have a roof over our heads and that we have food to eat... but I'm just hoping we continue to have those things.
Also, two days from now would have been my Papaw's 84th birthday... I miss you Papaw, Happy Birthday!

Beyond Aggravated

Alright. If you don't want to listen to my venting then STOP reading now. I have volunteered my time... well technically I'm getting paid, but the it's not enough to really even show WHAT I have to do when I volunteer. I can't go into much detail, but I can say that it is a bible study for children (fun right?) during another kind of bible study for the parents and other adults. I really enjoy working with these kids (atleast most of the time... there are teenagers also, so that makes it a little more difficult), but we have started a new lesson plan. The lesson plan is GREAT, it really is, I like it, and I think the KIDS will like it. Notice I said kids. But I don't just have kids in this group, I have a toddler, elementary KIDS and preteens and teens. So. This program, like I said is great for kids, the preteens and teens will most definately turn their noses up to it... I say this because I know that at their age I would have turned my nose up. So I decided I would revamp it a bit for the teenagers, use the leader guide as literally a guide but make the lesson appropriate for all ages and change up the schedule a bit to fit the kids I take care of. But oh no. I can't do that. The head hancho (sp?) said that by using this program it HAS to be followed step by step, no going over the boundaries... zippo zadda. zip. I asked for a budget... ERRR. not granted. So what am I supposed to do then? Isn't the whole POINT to get all the kids psyched and involved with the program? To be excited about serving and learning about the Lord? Isn't that the purpose? I'm sorry, but with ANY lesson plan, sometimes they just don't work for all children, and this is one of those cases. What the crap am I supposed to do? Now with that said, I really respect this head hancho person. I have known this person my ENTIRE life. But really?

Let me give an example as to what I wanted to change for THIS week. Each night is scheduled in 15-40 min increments, one of the 30 min increments is center time. I only have 10 kids that show up, and they all rarely show up every week. There are about 6 that show up almost every week. Centers (3 centers to be exact) is to much for a small group...and to be honest some of the centers are TOO advanced for the younger ones, and too juvenile for the older ones. So I thought, well I wanted to incorporate a "food craft" because what kid doesn't like playing with their food? So instead of the centers the program offers I decided to do "mud". What is mud? Chocolate pudding, crushed oreos, gummy worms and preferably make it all SUGAR FREE. I got a definite no to this. And frankly, I almost want to bring lots of sugary things and let this head hancho person deal with the children for one night and see if he can get everyone hyped up and loving the lesson plan.

Let's just say I really hope I get a job soon that requires me to work evenings... then I really will say sayanara!