Praying HARD!

We've been going back and forth for months about trying to find a house for rent. We live in a 2nd floor apartment in a two story 4-plex in our hometown, and while the apartment itself is just right for what we need, it's hard living with loud, rude neighbors. We have neighbors beside us who play very loud rap music and have the bass turned all the way up and no matter how many times we ask it's a weekly, if not daily, occurance. We also have neighbors below us who have nightly arguments that are loud just below our bedroom. There are other circumstances with this apartment both with neighbors and the landlord/management company that I don't want to go into detail about, but we just don't feel as comfortable or safe here anymore! But at the same time we don't want to just move anywhere, it has to be the right home for Boogie, it needs to be safe, and it needs to have everything we need.


The other night I was looking on Craigslist and came across a house for rent just up the road from my parents house. We were driving around because Boogie had fallen asleep in the car and I was NOT about to interrupt a nap by getting her out of the car... so I had J drive up to the house so we could take a look. The rent is low so I was expecting a dumpy old trailer or a very worn down tiny house... I was wrong! It is the CUTEST little white house with black shutters, it has a huge yard and it looks perfect! To make a long story short, my dad is NOT shy and ended up talking to the person who lives there now (I actually went to high school with him) and he told us that it is a 3 bedroom and has a wood stove! I still have to make sure it has washer/dryer connections, but other than that it has our wish list.... which is the following: some type of air conditioning (yes), some type of heating other than oil or gas (yes), washer/dryer connections (not sure yet), at least 2 bedrooms (yes), a yard (yes), NOT AN APARTMENT (yes yes yes!).


The man who owns the house is in service, so he is stationed in Alaska right now, so we have to wait to hear from his aunt who is taking care of it at the moment. We are 90ish% sure we're going to get it! The only not so fun part is that we will have to buy our own appliances (fridge, stove... and hopefully a washer/dryer for some w/d connections)...but it's totally worth it. So please, please, PLEASE pray for us! I'm trying not to get excited but this really would be a wonderful place to continue to grow our family and to stay for a good long while until we can buy a house of our own. :)

Five Question Friday

1. Do you prefer ice cream in a cone or a bowl?
How about ice cream in a waffle bowl? LOL


2. What three things do you love the smell of?
Boogie after she's had a bath, pine trees, and cinnamon!

3. Giftcards or no? (in regards to gift giving)
Yea... that's the best gift for someone who's difficult to buy for.


4. What sports did you play in high school if any, and do you still play any of them?
Soccer and marching band... and if you don't think marching band is as strenuous as a sport. Think again. I wish I could still play at least indoor soccer, but my knee won't cooperate.


5. Were you in band in high school? What instrument did you play?
LOL! I promise I didn't see this question before I answered number 4. So yes. I was in marching band, symphonic band, and jazz band. I played alto saxophone.

Can You Handle It?

I firmly believe that God doesn't give us anything that we can't handle... we are constantly faced with trials and tests to grow us as people and as Christians. I'm facing one of the hardest trials I have ever had to endure, and I'm sure many other parents can relate. It's called *cue dramatic daunting music* separation anxiety. It's not fun, not one wee little bit of fun. It doesn't matter what I do, I leave the room and my daughter flips out. I can't hand her off to her daddy and walk away without her getting upset. There are rare moments when I can scoot away to take a shower or start dinner... but the majority of the time she's in the shower with me or on my back while I cook. This is my life in a nutshell.

The point of my rambling... while my daughter struggles with being away from me, I'm struggling in my walk with Christ. I guess in a way you can say that I'm facing some separation anxiety myself. I am still a Christian, my faith has never faltered, but like many people do I'm not staying focused as I should on time with just me and Him. I miss bible study, I miss praise and worship... and I really miss church. We are planning on attending a large local church that is extending a new branch in our community. We LOVE this church, but unfortunately we can't afford to drive to the main campus and the campus that they are opening here will not be ready until January. So I'm struggling... but I will get through and keep clinging to my faith and finding my way through the heartache of all this separation stuff with Boogie. Pray for me? Thanks!

Sigh...

We're going through some major separation anxiety over here. Boogie gets hysterical when I leave the room, when I try to put her down for her nap, if I hand her to J... it's driving me crazy. I say that, not because her wanting me is driving me crazy, but because her always needing me is stressing me out. I can't get a minute alone, I can't hand her over to J and ask him to put her to bed because she won't let him! I'm stressed. I'm tired. And no... don't offer to babysit, because at this point, it will only make matters worse. Sorry for being snotty, but there you go.

As for nighttime, I stopped keeping track of it... she woke up so many times last night that I was in a complete daze and early this morning I asked J to go sleep on the couch (he had about an hour until he had to get up for work) so that I could bring Boogie to bed and get some sleep.

So there. I'm tired. I'm stressed. I have major anxiety at the moment... and I can't wait until tomorrow morning, because that means the night will be over and I will have my happy girl again. Night time SUCKS.

Operation I Want My Bed Back... Night 2

Night 2 sucked to be frank. But before we get to that, let's talk about our first napping experience with the crib. yesterday was our first time getting Boogie to nap in her crib. I was really afraid she'd fight me and not sleep at all, and since she slept in until 11 that morning I planned on putting her down for one nap. She went down like a breeze... it was AMAZING. I nursed her at 3:10pm, she was down by 3:20pm and didn't wake up until 4:30pm. Not the longest nap in the world, but it was a whole hour of ME time. Spectacular!



Now... bedtime was not so spectacular. Here are the details:



7pm - started our bedtime routine (bath, pjs, books, nurse...)
8:10pm - got her in her crib
8:45pm - she woke up....
8:48pm - went back down relatively quickly
9:30pm - awake AGAIN
9:31pm - went back asleep with just a few pats
10:40pm - and awake again
10:45pm - again, went to sleep with a little patting and head rubbing
11:40pm - and again... awake
12:09am - fell asleep after some rocking and bouncing
2:15am - slept about 2 hours, so we thought hey, maybe she'll sleep a little longer next time...
3:36am - or not.... at this point she is STILL awake, so I nurse her thinking maybe she's hungry?
3:44am - she leaked on me from the constant tushie patting, so she got a diaper change
4am - 2 hours later, she's asleep. Ay yi yi.
5:55am - awake again, so I tell J to just bring her to bed. We're all exhausted.
6:05am - after biting me and not going to sleep... back to her bedroom we go
7am - for the past hour I left J and Boogie to get some rest. I was in and out of consciousness because Boogie cried the entire time... poor J :( So after all that, we bring her back to our bed again, I nurse her, and we all pass out.
10:15am - wake up super exhausted and hoping tonight is a better night.



So yea. Last night was ROUGH. Naptime was good though, she went down at 1:20pm and slept until 2:25! And tonight she was up twice between 7:30pm and 8:45pm, but she's been down since 9pm and it's not 11pm... so I'm hopeful for a better night!

Five Question Friday

1. What is your go to comfort food or sweet?
Wings. Hands down, my husband makes the best boneless hot wings EVER.


2. What is the most romantic place you've ever been too?
Restaurant wise... Melting Pot. Place wise... probably Okaloosa Island. It IS where we honeymooned, so how could it not be romantic? LOL


3. What is your favorite things about fall/Halloween?
I live in the BEST place during fall... Western NC has the most beautiful mountains when the leaves change. It's SO pretty! So I love that... and that it's sweater weather!


4. How would you spend 24 hours alone?
Alone? What's that? I haven't been alone since May 2010... seriously. Ummm... I'd clean the entire house top to bottom, catch up on homework, catch up on reading, work on some crafts I've pushed to the side and take a LONG, hot, bubbly bubble bath. 


5. Does your  husband bring you flowers? Are you the bring-me-flowers type of girl?
He does! When we first started dating, especially during the weeks I was sick in bed with mono, he brought me a carnation every day. Now he gets me flowers on special occasions, I LOVE them!

9 Month Photos

She wasn't a fan of grass.... this is after she tried to crawl onto the grass:

Operation I Want My Bed Back

Yep... Operating I Want My Bed Back is under way! Last night was our first night getting Boogie to sleep in her own bed and in her own room. I've been fighting with myself as to whether or not this was the right time to do this or not. Boogie is 9 months old now and while I LOVE cuddling with her, she takes up SO much room in our bed, and she had started nursing ALL night long. The night before last I felt overwhelming peace that this decision was right, that not only Boogie was ready but I was ready to let my baby girl grow up. It's hard... because you don't want your children to get big, but it has to happen. I prayed and prayed about whether what I was choosing to do was healthy and good for Boogie, and I think my Father approved! So this is how it went...

7:00pm: J gave Boogie her bath, put on her nighttime dipe and pj's, read her her books, and then I nursed her and rocked her.
7:20pm: I laid her down, and she DIDN'T WAKE UP. I was shocked! I didn't have to fight with her at all!
8:20pm: An hour later she woke up, she was a little upset but nothing too serious in the beginning. After about 30 minutes of her trying to stand up, fussing, and us laying her back down, she got so upset that (as in real crying, and not fake crying) that I picked her up, rocked her and nursed her until she went back to sleep. She woke up when I laid her down, but once J started rubbing her head and I started singing "You Are My Sunshine" to her, she was out!
9:15: This is what time she went back to sleep.
11:30pm: She woke up fussing, so nothing to serious. I just went in and patted her for about 5 minutes and she got very upset. So I picked her up and just held her and she immediately went back to sleep. I laid her back down and she was out.
11:40pm: Asleep
1:20am: Woke up just like before, went through the same routine.
1:34am: Asleep
This is where it gets rough.
3:10am: She woke up very upset, so I picked her up and did the same rocking/bouncing routine as before. She immediately fell asleep.
3:12am: Asleep in crib
3:15am: As soon as I got comfy in my bed, she was super upset again. So I repeated the steps I did before.
3:17am: Asleep in crib.
4:15am: Fussed and fussed... then started laughing and cooing so I sat in my rocking chair for about 20 minutes while she did this and laid her back down every time she sat up or stood up. After that I went and laid down and just listened to her babble hoping she would go back down.
4:45am: She started getting upset, so I went and patted her belly and sang to her, but nothing helped. At about 5am I took her out, rocked her and nursed her for about 5 minutes and laid her back down.
5:10am: Asleep in crib
6:15am: By this point, I'm exhausted... Boogie woke up crying real tears and no matter what I did she wouldn't go down. I rocked her, patted her, bounced her... nothing. So fighting tears myself, I took her back to bed and nursed her and we both slept until 11:15am

So. There you go. Wasn't a horrible night, it was exhausting, but better than I thought it would be. I hope to not have to bring her to bed every morning like that... but for the time being and for my own sanity that's what I'm doing until she sleeps a little better at night. Since we woke up so late, I'm going to just get her down for 1 nap, hopefully in her crib.. .and then we'll repeat our night time routine with J and he will be able to help over night this weekend since he's off!

If you want more info on this type of sleeping training, it's a type of Non-CIO training I found in The No Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep by Elizabeth Pantley combined with some tips on a sleeping board on babycenter. Here's a link to the post I used: How to Sleep Train Without CIO

Nonsense

I am completely stressed and frustrated lately... I'm not even sure how I'm staying together at this point! Last night I was looking over what classes I would need next semester in order to graduate, I only have FOUR classes left... which would be perfect, except THREE need to be science. Yea, science. My LEAST favorite subject, and there's NO way I could take 3 in one semester. I also have to take a literature class, which is ONLY offered on campus, along with two our of three of those science classes. So now, I have to figure out how I'm going to do that. I'm OK with leaving Boogie at home with J... but it's the in between time I'm worried about. We are a one car family, I'd have to have a babysitter for 30 minutes to an hour between the time where I would go to school and J would get off. Ugh! I may have to take random classes next semester that will go towards my future degree, and take more classes next Fall. I'm BEYOND annoyed at this point. I'm so ready to be DONE.

Then you have J's exam... we were hoping to pay for his certifying exam this fall so he could take it in the Spring... well after getting the clothing we needed for Boogie and paying bills... we can't afford it. Not only that, but he needs time to study for his final exam for the course first, and I don't think that's going to happen before we would need to pay for his other exam. So now we have to wait until next Fall. It's not a big deal really, but I know he wants to get it over with and we both want to move on with our lives and see what life has in store for us.

On top of all that, in the past few weeks I've learned and remembered why I stick to the friends I know well. After a while people start showing their true colors, and it ends up being that I don't want to be around them or my daughter around them. It SUCKS. I'm thankful to have two friends in this area that I can talk to, even if we're all to busy to hang out... I'm still blessed to have them in my lives. Poor Janelle has been swamped for the past month with sick kiddos, seems like every time one gets better another one gets sick! I love you friend! We will see each other eventually lol! Christa's life is crazy hectic... but we talk constantly, so even though I don't SEE her, I still know I have someone to talk to when I'm cooped up in this house! I also have a group of "virtual" friends that I've known since J and I started TTC... so for almost four years I've had a group of women to go to for just about anything! It's wonderful, because even though our group is diverse and different, we can have civil conversations about any topic and nobody gets upset or starts a bunch of drama because they don't agree on something. It's WONDERFUL.

I guess to sum it all up... I'm feeling sorry for myself today! It happens... you know? I'm just tired of feeling like I'm working my tail off to find more disappointment when it comes to school... I'm tired of thinking I have new mommy friends when really they aren't who they make themselves out to be.... and I'm tired of being stuck in this house ALL the freaking time! Did I mention that there have been rabid foxes spotted here? Not super close to our apartment, but it's still keeping me from taking Boogie for walks... I'd love to walk to the library, or down to the school to see mom with her, but that's not happening anytime soon! Ay yi yi! Ok... vent over. Sorry to anyone who just read all of that nonsense!

9 Month Check Up

Still haven't had a chance to take Boogie's 9 month pictures... but we did make it to Boogie's check up today! Boogie weighs 19 pounds and she is 27.75 inches tall... she is healthy, she is wonderful... she is absolutely positively amazing. She only needed one shot today, and had a quick little prick on her toe to check for anemia... she cried for just a minute after the shot, but she actually laughed after the toe prick LOL! My little girl is getting SO big. She has 4 teeth... she LOOKS so much older. AY YI YI! Stop growing little one!