Myspace

I've been making layouts for about 6 months now, and I absolutely love doing this. My brother is teaching me how to use Gimp, which is the equivalent of Photoshop or PSP, except it's FREE! I started making layouts because I could never find the type of layouts I wanted for myspace... so I just started playing around with some generators and pictures... and whalaa! My new baby, Crazy in ♥ Layouts came to be! Here are some examples of the banners/contact tables I've been working on that will be layouts soon....

"Every man's life is a fairytale written by God's fingers..."

"Where words fail... Music speaks."

"I stand to praise You, But I fall on my knees,

My spirit is willing... But my flesh is so weak."

"You're my once in a lifetime love..."

"The Lord is the Light in my Darkness."

"I'll praise you in this storm, And I will lift my hands"

"It's the way you love me baby..."

"Marrying You was the best decision I ever made."
"with every kiss and every hug;

you make me fall more in love"

"Out of everything I've ever dreamed to be... Mommy is the only job for me!"

"Amazing love, how could it be?

That You, my King should die for me?

Amazing love, I know it's true...

And it's my joy to honor You!"

"I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad

Carry you around when your arthritis is bad

All I wanna do.... is grow old with you!"

"God Bless America"

"I'm not your everyday, average, run of the mill kind of girl. I'm more of a bible reading, praise song singing Jesus-Freak."

"I started living the day I met you..."

"She'll chnage her name today,

She'll make a promise

and I'll give her away.

Standing in the bride-room

just staring at her.

She asked me what I'm thinking

and I said, "I'm not

sure - I just feel like

I'm losing my baby girl."

She leaned over...

gave me butterfly kisses..."

"Can't you see I'm crazy in love with you?"

"Every kiss leaves butterflies"

Here are some examples of some layouts I have available on my site:

"You are heaven sent"

"Expecting a Miracle""He asked, 'Will you marry me?' and I said, 'Yes!' "
"The music never fades..."
"This is true love... think this happens everyday?"
"The joy of the Lord is my strength! Nehemiah 8:10"



If you like what you see, check out my layout site:

Crazy in ♥ Layouts!

Stuck Between a Rock & a Hard Place...

As you know, I recently started working at a childcare at a local conference center on evenings and weekends. I LOVE this job, I loved it last year, and I love it even MORE this year. I just love being with kids, they are amazing! Well, last night I worked with the day supervisor who also worked with me last year and she said they have an opening for the day shift! She said that we could sit down with the Director of the Conference Center and see if we could work it out where I'd be getting paid what I was paid last year, which would be the equivalent of what I'm getting paid at the law firm. But I wouldn't be able to work the evening shift, and I'd have to quit my job at the law firm. My husband doens't like that idea so much, and he said it worries him that if for some reason we don't move (which will NOT happen... we ARE moving) that I won't have a job when the summer is over. He has a point, but you also have to understand that my husband can be somewhat of a pessimist... so he has to think about all the negatives and what if.... where I'm an optimist (most of the time) where I think... I'll be happier, I'll be making the same amount of money, I can find another second job to save money.... and AGAIN, I'll be HAPPIER. I'm stuck. What should I do, go along with my husband and sit at this desk for the next 2 months being miserable... or start back at the childcare during the day running around with crazy children, getting dirty in the sandbox and changing stinky diapers? I vote for stinky diapers! HAHA!

I have a feeling that I will end up staying at the law firm, because I want my husband to be happy and I don't want him to worry himself to death. He gets so worried sometimes he makes himself sick. Ugh... I hate that hard place.

Onto other things...

I have been having a hard time lately with some things that I can't completely discuss on here... but I think I can say some without saying too much. Justin and I are on a journey... an adventure of sorts that is grueling, heartbreaking and one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. Everyday is basically a waiting game, and every day, week and month that goes by makes me wonder if some of the things we dream about will ever happen. I see so many people on this same journey who seem to have things just dropped at their feet. It doesn't matter that they can't afford this journey, or that they may not be capable.... it just happens to be their time I guess. I'm tired, I'm frustrated... I just don't know what to do anymore! I want this, but God keeps saying... not yet.... not yet. Makes me want to argue with Him... but I know that won't do me any good. ::sigh::

I've also been thinking a lot about a friend of mine who is taking on a different kind of journey. This friend is frustrating me though, because it seems like she wants to get to the end of this journey so fast, but she's not doing what she needs to do to get there. She's using up her "supplies" I guess you could say, and by the time she embarks on her journey, there won't be any supplies left... and she'll have to start back at square one. But how do I tell her this? How do I tell her that she needs to slow down without her thinking that I'm attacking her and think I know better than her?

Life can just be frustrating sometimes... I keep listening to this song that one of my closest friends shared with me. (She knows me VERY well, she knew I'd love this song... well she was right!) It's called Shadowfeet by Brooke Fraser. She sings, "When the world has fallen out from under me, I'll be found in you.. still standing. When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees, when time and space are through... I'll be found in you." That just speaks to me! I could be at my wit's end.... or be depressed and thinking I've got nowhere else to go.... but that's when I find myself in HIM. HE is always there for me through whatever heartache or troubles bother me... He is there.

A lesson learned...

This month has been hard on us financially... Snickers got sick and that cost a pretty penny... and with gas rising with no sign of slowing down... it seems like we never have money anymore! Well we were blessed this week. Our neigbor (who just so happens to be my supervisor at childcare) is a single mom with a son in 6th grade. Like me, he plays the alto sax in the school band. His mom was burdened last week, because she couldn't afford to rent his instrument any longer, so he was going to have to quit band. I sold her my saxophone... not for much, I would have given it to her for free, but she wouldn't take it. My mom will probably blow a gasket when she finds out how much I sold it for... but there was a need and I met it. I don't play it anymore, although I probably should have... but this boy needed it more than I did... and what if he ends up pursuing music? Maybe I created a stepping stone for him! He was SO excited, and I felt so good about doing something for him and his mom. So not only did they receive a blessing, but that helped Justin I out financially...

Then I found out yesterday I will be getting paid from the childcare today... :) That made me very happy! LOL

"Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations."
-Psalm 100

YOU are ALWAYS with ME.

by Gail Rogers

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love,he will rejoice over you with singing."

- Zephaniah 3:17

Father God,

Thank you that You are the One

who watches over me

and sees every step I take.

You walk each of those steps beside me!

Thank you that You are the God who speaks to me

and who hears me when I call.

Thank you that You listen to my heart and

You see into the depth of my soul.

Nothing of me is hidden from You.

And You still answer even before I call out to You.

Even when I am still speaking and

wondering how to bring my needs before You,

You are already springing into action

to meet me at my point of need.

You are awesome, Lord, hearing my heart

and reaching out to meet me.

You take delight in me!

You take great delight in me. Wow!

You will never, ever leave me and

You actually desire to have fellowship with me.

You, the God of Heaven, look for time with me and

cherish the moments when I look into Your face.

You guide me with Your eye.

You know my name and the name of my street;

You know the bed where I lay my head at night.

You call me by my name and You call me Your own!

You actually rejoice over me with singing!

What a picture, Lord.

Me, the one who so often lets You down,

You rejoice over me and

You quiet me with Your love.

May I bask in that welcome and in that warmth today.

May it spur me on to be faithful to You as You are so faithful to me.

The Lord with me, that is Your name. Thank you.

The Lord with me today, right this moment

and as I walk into this next moment.

I praise Your name and pray with confidence in it,

Amen.

2 Posts in One Day... I'm on a Roll!

I'm starting to think I might try and find something else to do until we move. Meaning, I really don't know how much longer I can stay at my current FT job. This has got to be the worst day I have experienced here since I started. The two people I actually get along with are two of the women upstairs. One is gone today, and the other is having a bad day too. The "drama queen" of the bunch is getting on her nerves and being nosy and just causing her usual drama, the lawyers are off doing their own thing, except for one. And ofcourse, he expects me to get all of this crazy stuff done today... which is impossible. I had to call a company earlier today to have a loan canceled for a man that died a couple weeks ago. I talked to SIX foreign people who didn't have a CLUE what I was saying! I was on the phone for TWO hours with that company, that's ridiculous! I am taking a break now, a well deserved one I do believe! Haha!

I thought about talking to the day supervisor at the childcare I work at to see if she needs someone else during the day, but at that conference center you can't work two jobs for them, so I'd lose my PT job, and they don't pay as well during the day. I'm just stuck I guess you could say. I'm exhausted, and tired... and I just want to go home and go to bed. But instead I'll be going to work tonight to play with kids...which isn't actually a bad thing, but at the moment I want to go home and sleep until my FUN job! We'll probably be watching a movie since it's raining.... but anyways...

Off to do more pointless paperwork and get yelled at because I forgot to dot my i's and cross my t's...

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?"
Romans 8:31

Anticipation

In exactly two months, Justin & I should be well on our way to a new home, to a new state, and a new start on our lives, can you believe it? Everyday we get closer and closer and I can't believe we're actually doing this. For the first time, we are doing something with absolutely no help from anyone else. Well, with the exception of mom & dad helping us move, but we knew that was going to happen, lol! We are SO excited!


A lot is going on lately that I can't post about just yet, but I'm excited to say that I'm the happiest I've ever been! I just started my part time job working in the childcare for a local conference center, I've worked there before, but always during the day. This year I'm working nights and weekends, and I LOVE it! I wish I could do this all the time, but sadly it wouldn't pay the bills :(


I've been thinking a lot about my grandfathers lately, about the memories... so I thought I'd post a little.... or a lot... about them today. My paternal grandfather, whom I call "Papaw" passed away in October 2006. He had to be one of the most loving and compassionate people I've ever known, but he never showed you that physically.... but you just knew the love he had for you. My brother and I spent most of our childhood at my paternal grandparents while our parents worked. I remember going to their house and eating milk and cornbread for breakfast and watching bugs bunny or wiley coyote while Papaw read the paper. Granny would play Rummy with us, and she ALWAYS beat us, and I'm beginning to think it's because she's a huge cheater!!! Papaw would take us outside and help us catch junebugs, and tye a string around it's back legs so we could fly it around like a little airplane. Sometimes he'd take Granny and me with him to work in his garden. We'd walk up to see my "Little Granny" (my grandmother's mother) and play with my cousins. Sunday afternoons after church, we'd climb into Papaw's car and slowly but surely make it to the grocery store to buy a gallon bucket of chicken, jojo potatoes, mashed potatoes and green beans for lunch. When I was very small, we'd go visit my Papaw's mother in the nursing home, but I don't remember a whole lot about that.... except for the smell of the nursing home. I think everyone knows that smell!!

My maternal grandfather, "Papaw Steve", wasn't a part of my life when I was younger. I had met him before but I don't remember meeting him until I was 8 or 9 years old. I didn't really understand why my mom had two dads and two moms, I just knew that he was my mom's real dad and that he lived far away. Even though I didn't know him as well as I knew my paternal Papaw, I do have many fond memories with him. One Christmas he built a dollhouse for me, a little miniature log cabin with furniture to match. I LOVED that dollhouse, I still have it at my mom's house actually, I think! He was always quiet, never really said much, but we knew that he loved us. He even walked me down the aisle, along with my dad... he was so happy that day, I'll never forget that. Papaw Steve passed away a month after my wedding on Thanksgiving Day of 2007. He was an amazing man. I learned about all the amazing things he did throughout his life at his funeral and for weeks after that. He was truly and amazing man.

Since I have a verse posted on Papaw Steve's picture, I'll use that verse today...

" 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' "
Jeremiah 29:11

It's Thursday.... why not Friday?

This week has flown by, but I tell you what... today could not go any slower! I don't have much to write about, atleast not anything I want public at the moment. But I thought I'd just pop in and say hello!

The joy of the Lord is my strength.

The joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord is my strength. The joy of the Lord is my strength. I have to keep telling myself that over and over again. It's so hard to remember that sometimes.... the joy of the Lord is my strength. I am a very impatient person... I want everything when I want, how I want it and I want it NOW. Our parents keep telling us, you shouldn't move now, you should wait... you shouldn't move to TN, it's not the right place for you. For once, my moving fast might be a good thing. I don't think we will ever get out from under our parent's unless we make this change. We need to REALLY be on our own, rely on ourselves and make our own way. We want to start a family, and I want to go back to school, we want to have a house of our own someday.... and we can and WILL have that/do that. But it will never happen unless we do it by ourselves. I don't think our parents realize that. I honestly wish we had kept it to ourselves and told them a month before we were moved. I knew they would try and talk us out of it.... they did the same thing before we got married. I'm not a little girl or a teenager anymore, I am wife, a woman and someday I will be a mommy. I have to make my own decisions and decide which path to take. This is the one we've chosen, Justin and I, this is the one we choose to take.

Frustration

AF;EWGWEAGJW;NGAWEGOAWUTEOWPTIUADF.

That is currently how I am feeling. I don't feel good, I didn't get any sleep last night, these stupid computers keep shutting down. Everytime anyone opens a certain program on our network all the computers crash, so everything we have been working on crashes right along with it. So I'm done for the day. No more work for me, this is ridiculous! I've done the same spreadsheet NINE times today. I'm done!

Snicker Doodle

We have a 1 1/2 year old miniature dachshund/poodle mix named Snicker Doodle (Snickers for short). Since we got married shes been living with my inlaws because our landlords don't allow pets on the premises, and this was the only place available at the time. So until we find a pet friendly home, she has to stay with nanny & papaw, lol.

Well, about 2 months ago, my M-inlaw took her for her checkup (we were out of town) and we told her beforehand that they will tell her to stop feeding her table scraps, because not only does it make her fat, it could make her really sick. And like I told her, they did, they said no table scraps, she needs to lose a few lbs, blahblahblah. They got better about feeding her and she'd lost the weight she needed too....

Then yesterday they decide to give her a hotdog.... ugh. Guess what. That 50 cent hotdog cost me $100 in vet bills today. She was vomiting, and had horrible diarhhea... my poor puppy. :(

They gave her antibiotics through an iv, and gave her a camel hump. A camel hump is when they need to get an animal hydrated, but can't because they vomit the fluids instead. So they take an iv, stick it underneath the dog's skin and the water drips in slowly making a water pouch, just like a camel hump. It's kinda gross actually, but it made her feel better! I have to keep her on a strict diet this weekend and next week, and hopefully after that she'll be back to her old self!

Maybe the inlaws will finally realize that dogs are supposed to eat DOG food and humans are supposed to eat HUMAN food.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
I Peter 5:6-7

My Future

For any of you that actually read my daily ramblings you know that I want to go to school to be a teacher. A kindergarten teacher to be exact. I still want to pursue this dream, but I'm also thinking about putting it off until after we have children and they are in school. It would take a lot of endurance for me to push myself to go back to school then, but I have some options I could pursue until I get to that point. I would love to be a sonogapher or radiographer. I think it's a really amazing job, you get to meet a number of diverse people... .and with sonography you get to see the first images of a new life! They have a career path for each career at the community college where we are planning to move, so I figure if I can get that done I would have a good career to start out with. Have children (My dad wants 4 grandbabies, LOL) during this time, possibly take a few classes to get my elementary ed. degree started, and once all of our children are in school, I could go back to school also and get my degree. I think it sounds like a plan :).

I've been thinking about that a lot today because I just feel like what I'm doing is such a waste of my time. I feel like I'm not being pushed to my full academic ability, and that drives me NUTS! All I do is sort things, organize things and type up documents. Anyone with a basic computer knowledge that can read and write could do this job. Simple as that!

Anyways, those are my thoughts for the day!

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you."
Psalm 32:8