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Lead Me

I've been thinking all day about what to write in this post and how to express everything I want to say. There's a song that I heard for the first time just shortly after I gave birth to Boogie, J made a slideshow of her newborn pictures and included this song in that slideshow and ever since then every time I hear that song it brings me to tears. The song is called "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real and I think the lyrics to this song completely describe what my husband thinks and feels pressured to do on a daily basis. He is so incredibly strong and so willing to do whatever it takes to ensure that my children and myself are taken care of and that I am able to stay home with them and raise them the way we see fit. Before I continue, please read these lyrics:

Lead Me

Sanctus Real

I look around and see my wonderful life

Almost perfect from the outside

In picture frames, I see my beautiful wife

Always smiling, but on the inside

Oh, I can her her saying

Lead me with strong hands

Stand up when I can't

Don't leave me hungry for love

Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight

That I'm still the love of your life

I know we call this our home

But I still feel alone

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes

They're just children from the outside

I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine

They're independent, but on the inside

Oh I can hear them saying

Lead me with strong hands

Stand up when I can't

Don't leave me hungry for love

Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight

That I'm still the love of your life

I know we call this our home

But I still feel alone

So Father, give me the strength

To be everything I'm called to be

Oh Father, show me the way

To lead them

Won't you lead me?

To lead them with strong hands

To stand up when they can't

Don't want to leave them hungry for love

Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight

And give them the best of my life

So we can call this our home

Lead me 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me 'cause I can't do this alone

I imagine every husband and/or father feels those things at some point, if not everyday. Being the head of the household is a huge responsibility and job, I know that in the past few weeks my wonderful husband has gone above and beyond the call of duty for his job as a manager for the kitchen he works for and as a husband and father. I can't even begin to tell you how appreciative I am of this man who makes so many sacrifices for his family. I know that I am constantly asking J to do this, and do that (especially the bigger I get with this pregnancy) and he is wore out. But it doesn't matter how tired he is, he is always willing to play with Boogie, was the dishes, clean the bathroom, throw together dinner... that's just who he is. I am so incredibly lucky to be married to such a man. 

I've been praying for him more so than usual lately, I find myself constantly thinking that I don't do enough to show him how thankful I am for him or wondering if he even knows how much I appreciate and love him. As the song goes... he's leading us with strong hands and he's leading us by God's command. I'm not sure if I've even gotten across everything I wanted to say in this particular post... but I hope that when J reads this he knows how much I adore him and love him. 

We are approaching our 5th wedding anniversary this September and we have been together for over 6 years now. I never imagined that I would meet the man God intended for me at 17 or that we would be where we are today with a beautiful smart little girl and a sweet baby boy on the way. I can't believe it's been almost 5 years since I stood in front of a crowd of people and promised to love and adore this man for the rest of my life. I love him more today than I did that day and I continue to love him more and more each and every day that passes. I feel bad because today on the day that I'm writing this heartfelt post, I haven't had the energy or the motivation to get anything done while he slaves away at work. He is too good to me I'm afraid, and I'm sorry to say he's coming home to a complete disaster of a house. 

J, my love, I'm sorry that you're coming home to such a disaster. I'm praying that tomorrow I will wake up a little more energized and less sore and that our Boogie will be in higher spirits (she's been a bit of a grump today). You are such an amazing man and an even more incredible father. I thank God everyday for choosing you to be my helpmate, lover, best friend, confidant, and father of my children. Thank you for everything that you do, for everything that you've worked towards, for loving us no matter what. You are incredible. 

To end, I'd like to post the music video for the song above and a few pictures of my love over the past 6 years.

First Vacation Together 2006

Prom 2006

Engagement Photos 2007

Wedding (Reception) 2007

Honeymoon 2007

Pregnant with Boogie 2010

First days as parents 2010

Family Photo and Pregnant with Asher 2012

24 Weeks

How far along? 24 weeks

Total weight gain/loss:  Gained 1/2lb at my last appointment... and I'm pretty sure that was oatmeal in my belly, ha!

Maternity clothes? All maternity... except for my awesome pj's of course, lmbo.

Stretch marks? Mhmm.

Sleep: I toss and turn all night... and I have had to start getting up to pee EVERY 2 hours at least. UGH!

Best moment this week: Had my appointment with Dolly and Bubby is PERFECT! AND we took Boogie to the zoo today.... what fun!

Movement: Feeling him pretty constantly at night, super low in my abdomen... and then randomly throughout the day.

Food cravings: French fries, frozen lemonade, spicy foods

Gender: Boy!

Labor signs: None

Belly button in or out? In

Wedding rings on or off? Just wearing my wedding band right now

What I miss: Caffeine! Anytime, anywhere I want.

What am I looking forward too: Finally holding Bubby... although this pregnancy has been super easy compared to my pregnancy with Boogie, it's definitely harder getting bigger while caring for a toddler!

Weekly Wisdom: Take everything in stride... there will be meltdowns (whether it YOU or your kids).
 
 Milestones: Started feeling him more consistently, at least at night!

Summer Blog Challenge, Days 57-66

Day 57: Write up something about an alternative energy source.

Ummm... don't have much knowledge about this type of thing... but I'd love to get solar panels on our future home!


Day 58: When was the last time you "roughed it"?

Ha! Probably in high school when we had this massive storm from the after effects of a hurricane off the coast (we are in the mountains). The storms caused massive flooding and the reservoir where our drinking water comes from was contaminated.... so that meant no showering for well over a week unless you boiled the water first. (It was not only unsafe to drink but we were under a water restriction as well). I'd like to NEVER do that again!


Day 59: How does your life measure up to the vision you had when you were younger?

I think it's much better. As a child/teenager I thought I'd be working as a youth pastor or a teacher, married, with a house of my own, and one or two kids at this point. I have the husband of my dreams, one child and another on the way... and I get to do the best job in the world! Stay home with my kids! So it may not be exactly what I dreamed about way back when... and I'd love to have a house of my own right now, but everything is just the way it should be.


Day 60: Are you an artist?? Show some artwork or doodling you've done. Don't do art, share something you like then.

LMBO! Right... I like anything by Van Gogh... he's awesome.


Day 61: Post a black and white photo you've taken.

I did NOT take this picture, our wonderful photographer did.... but it is by far my FAVORITE!!!!

Day 62: hare an idea for a handmade gift to give to someone else.

For Christmas, I am going to make Justin's grandmother a family tree. Basically I'm painting a tree (just the trunk and branches) on a canvas and putting two love birds at the top to represent her and her husband. Then we will have all the family put their thumbprints on the branches for leaves. :)

Day 63: What's one feature you would have to have in your dream home?

There are so many things I'd love to have.... but a must have this point in our life is a PLAY ROOM of some sort. A basement to play in, an additional bedroom. SOMEWHERE to keep all these toys!

Day 64: What helps you get through meltdowns?

Depends on the day. Some days meltdowns don't bother me and I just get through it and love her anyways. Other days I eat chocolate. Lots of chocolate.

Day 65: What is your favorite article of clothing?

When I'm not pregnant I love my boyfriend jeans from Old Navy. When I AM pregnant I'm loving my full belly panel shorts from Old Navy. 

Day 66:  What's your dream job?

Stay at home mom.... and I've got that job ;-)

Update

I've been hesitant to blog about this particular topic since I had hoped (in the back of my mind) that it was just a fluke. About a month ago Boogie turned 18 months old, at that time she had, by then, started sleeping in her toddler bed, sleeping through the night.... and the big event? She stopped asking for milk. I say milk as in breast milk. I had high hopes that despite my pregnancy that my milk supply would stay up and that she'd continue until she was at least two, but in those last few weeks of nursing she'd nurse less and less and less! So eventually my supply just completely dried up. Part of me is completely relieved that because of Boogie's big girl decision to stop nursing, Bubby will be able to nurse without having to fight his big sister for "mommy milk", lol! The other part of me is devastated that she weaned so early. YOU may not think it's early, but I do.

Despite all that, once Bubby is here and he becomes a pro at nursing and my supply is well established I will start pumping and offering it to Boogie in her cup. The benefits of breast milk are never ending so she will reap the benefits for as long as I can possibly share milk with her (and her brother). 

Other than that huge milestone, Boogie is just growing up before our eyes. In these past few months she has started talking in almost complete sentences, she never ceases to shock us... "come on, want walk!" "movie mommy? watch movie?" "outside? play outside?" "c'mon maggie, sit down!" etc etc etc.... I could make a book of the phrases she is saying now! It's incredible! She also has a new little "playground" at Mawmaw and Pawpaw's house... we were given some Little Tike's play toys from my cousin who's son has outgrown them. She has a big slide, a small jungle gym with a small slide, a sand box, and a playhouse thing (it's like a boat really). The first day she needed help on the slide and climbing.... now she can do it alllllll by herself! She has a blast!

As for Bubby, he's moving more and more although I am only able to feel him very low down. I'm getting a little frustrated with this because I feel like my placenta isn't moving up like it did with Boogie (I had an anterior placenta with her as well). I'm going to ask my midwife about it next week, I'm not WORRIED about it, just frustrated that I'm not able to feel him as often as Boogie at this stage. Other than that we are pretty much ready for him to be here. It stinks that we don't have a 3rd bedroom to decorate for him (even though either way he'd be in our room in the beginning), but we hope to change that come spring. His crib, changing table and everything are set up in our room, his newborn clothing is put away, his newborn dipes are prepped and put away... everything is ready. There are a few small things here and there we need to get, but if I was 40 weeks pregnant today and he came... I'd have no worries :)

Last, but not least.... we are officially a two-car family again! Hallelujah! We've been discussing this FOREVER. Really, since Boogie was a few months old, we just were too afraid to go to the bank and start the process (with school loans and our car payment.... we never thought they'd approve another loan, even though we can afford it!). I would prefer not to have two car payments, but in all honesty we were pretty desperate for another vehicle. With J's hours, Boogie and I were stranded at home relying on Mawmaw and Nana to pick us up or waiting on J to bring the car to us so we could make it to appointments and such. With Bubby on his way, and the thought of how cramped we would all be in our one car... we decided to jump. We found a 2004 Dodge Caravan at the dealership we purchased our Kia and everything just fell into place. I'm so thankful... so relieved... and THRILLED to have my freedom back. Our van is so roomy and so comfortable. Now we just need to install Bubby's car seat and we're set! (this pic is of the type of van we bought.... same color but this is not our van lol)

Summer Blog Challenge, Day 53-56

Day 53: How do you beat the summer heat?

Air conditioning... lmbo. We try to play outside in the morning or evenings (at mom's... I don't venture to the park without J right now because Elah wears me out!), stay inside on the hottest of hot days, and try to find indoor activities.



Day 54: What's a band that you've been listening to and liking lately?

I'm hooked on Jamie Grace and Jason Gray right now... particularly Jamie Grace's "Hold Me" and Jason Gray's "Remind Me Who I Am"



Day 55: Give us 3 easy healthy meals or snacks for young kids & toddlers.

 These are our go to snacks/meals for Elah... it's what she likes best and we do when we don't have leftovers or other things set aside:
3 Go to Snacks for Toddlers:

1. Sliced grapes and graham crackers
2. Sliced strawberries and veggie chips w/hummus
3. Blueberries and cheerios

3 Go to Meals for Toddlers

1. Lunch/Dinner: Ravioli (I get frozen ravioli), something green (broccoli, green beans, etc), a fruit, and if it's lunch time she gets a few cookies or a yogurt pop. 
2. Breakfast: Pancakes (when daddy is home!), fruit, and scrambled eggs
3. Lunch/Dinner: Taco Meat w/Corn, sliced bananas or avocado, tortilla chips, and some kind of other veggie if she's still hungry. 

Day 56:  If you could have a super power, what would it be?

That's a hard one...  maybe to be super fast so I can clean the entire house in less than a minute. That would rock!

22 weeks

How far along? 22 weeks

Total weight gain/loss:  Consistently losing and gaining 3lbs.... I go back and forth every other appointment, although I think I've gained a bit more in the past few weeks since my last appointment. I've been able to eat more hearty meals, so ugh... that means although Asher is getting stronger, momma's getting fatter!

Maternity clothes? All maternity... except for my awesome pj's of course, lmbo.

Stretch marks? Mhmm.

Sleep: I had been consistently sleeping like the dead, however in the past week I've been waking up about every 2 hours needing to flip over. My hips are starting to get sore and my belly is getting bigger and bigger so it's more difficult to roll. Ay yi yi!

Best moment this week: Completely done with Asher's diaper stash (newborn stash at least) and all of his newborn clothing is washed, folded, and put away! (And we have far more than we need)

Movement: More and more, but he stays SO low. I feel like my placenta is much lower than it was with Boogie because I felt her much more than I have this little one.

Food cravings: Peanut butter graham crackers, slushies/frozen lemonade, peaches

Gender: Boy!

Labor signs: Just soreness in the belly area

Belly button in or out? In

Wedding rings on or off? Just wearing my wedding band right now

What I miss: Sleeping... I learned while pregnant with Elah that during this time our body starts "teaching" us how to wake up for nightly feedings.... so not ready for that just yet! LOL!

What am I looking forward too: I am very much looking forward to wearing this little one... I am still able to wear Boogie in a double hammock carry in one of my wovens on my back, but she is so independent that she much prefers to walk herself. I miss those sweet snuggles... so I can't wait to wrap Bubby on my chest and snuggle with him!

Weekly Wisdom: The earlier you start, the faster things get done, and the more time you have to spend with the wee ones. Boogie gets up about 6 now, sometimes later if I'm lucky and we've started a new cleaning routine that's really working for us! We make beds, wipe down counters, vacuum, and do a load or two of laundry every morning. Then each day of the week we have a specific chore to accomplish (like today we are washing bed linens and yesterday was catching up on any other laundry that needed to be done).
 
 Milestones: This isn't really a milestone for Bubby, but Boogie is consistently telling Bubby she loves him. She says "luh you bubby", "luh you baby", "bubby? ere are you?" lol!

Summer Blog Challenge, Day 47-52

Day 47: A random act of kindness.

This is a hard one, because with Boogie and I pretty much stuck in the house most days there aren't many chances to do a random act of kindness. I will say that the few times Elah and I have gone out I am always at the ready to help another mom in need... you know when you're alone with your kid(s) and you're pushing a cart or stroller and need to open the door at the same time? It drives me crazy when people walk right on by, go in, and don't even offer to hold the door for you! So I do that every chance I get... I help pick up items that are dropped when a mom needs an extra hand... anything like that! I know it's something I would appreciate in that moment!


Day 48: 5 things to do if the power goes out.

Well this could be 5 things you NEED to do, or 5 things to do to stay busy... so I'll do both.

5 Things you need: Flashlights, batteries, non-perishables to eat/snack on, water, and blankets (especially in cooler months)

5 Things to do with TODDLERS (since that's what I have, lol): Color with crayons and paper/coloring books, read books, count/stack/identify colors with Melissa & Doug Ring Stacker (one of Boogie's favorites), identify shapes/colors and sort into slots with Melissa & Dough Shape Sorter (another favorite), and puzzles!


Day 49: If you were president or prime minister for a day, what's one law you would change?

Maternity AND Paternity laws. I think mothers should be allowed to stay home with their infants for one FULL year with at least 75% pay, this would encourage breastfeeding and more bonding moments for families. I also think fathers should be allowed 6 months at 75-100% pay so that they can also bond and help at home for those first few months. Even 3 months at full pay would be amazing!


Day 50: What would you do with the $ if you won the lottery?

Pay off our car and college debt, fix mom's car, buy a 2nd vehicle and purchase a home of our own. The rest would go into savings for later (and college) and maybe a vacation for our little family next year.


Day 51: Talk about a free activity to do with children.

Sing sing sing... one of our favorite free activities to do is sing silly songs. Sure, I could say go to the park or whatever, but what about rainy days? Elah loves "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and I can entertain her for HOURS just singing songs and playing guitar.


Day 52: What's your best gardening tip?

I don't really have any, though I will say that if you have never had a vegetable garden then you should try it! We've had an abundance of zucchini this year... and we're even growing a few pumpkins!

Summer Blog Challenge, Day 41-46

Day 41: Share 5 or 10 of your favorite blogs or websites.

1.  The Pioneer Woman: She is AWESOME! Lots of fabulous recipes, tips and outside bloggers write about homeschooling, photography, etc.
2. Life Happens During Naptime: This is a friend of mine who has two (soon to be three!) little boys... she's a fellow babywearer and I love to read her blog entries. She's not blogging right now, but I promise if you go back through you'll thoroughly enjoy reading!
3. Chunky and Monkey, MD: This is another friend of mine who is training to be a doctor, she's currently a resident and has lately been working with NICU at the hospital she's with right now. She rights lots of informational blog entries and her husband has been doing  a lot of posts on their boys and some fantastic giveaways!
4. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!: This is a blogger who has two girls, one is just a few weeks younger than Boogie. I love reading her blogs about her kids, it's neat seeing someone else's toddler grow and develop!
5. Homemade by Jill: This blogger has a ton of tutorials for various crafts and she has three of the CUTEST kids I have ever seen!
6. Motherhood and Miscellany: Yes, another friend of mine, lol! She has three beautiful girls and I love reading about their adventures visiting family and the fun things her girls get into playing at home!

Day 42: Talk about a favorite vacation you have taken.

I'll share two... because really, vacation is SO much more fun when you take your kids with you! The first would have to be mine and J's honeymoon. We went to Okaloosa Island (which is between Okaloosa Island and Destin), Florida. It was SO beautiful! We have since gone back one time, but not with Boogie. We hope to take Boogie and Bubby sometime in 2014 when they are both old enough to enjoy it!

Second would be our family trip with the Flint Monsters to Pigeon Forge, TN last year when Boogie was about 3 months old. We went on all kinds of adventures and it was a BLAST!


Day 43: Then & now photos of you.

This is me in 2005, a year before I graduated (and started dating my hubby!)

And this was in May of this year, I was 10 weeks pregnant with Bubby

Day 44: One piece of advice you want to give to your child

There are so many things I want to teach my children, but one of the BIGGEST things is to stand up for what you believe in. As my mother would assure you, I have never had a problem doing that. I fought to show the people in my church that casual dress (jeans, t-shirts, sneakers) were just as acceptable for Sunday morning service as dressy clothes. I co-started a devotional group in high school to bring more people to Christ, and I could go on... I want my children to hold strong in their beliefs and to know that in every way possible they should stand up for those beliefs.

Day 45: Got any good makeup tips/routines?

LMBO! Right... you do not want or need any makeup tips or routines from me! I rarely wear makeup, it's just not something I'm into. I do wear for church and dates occasionally... and I MIGHT put on mascara for pictures! HA!

Day 46: Favorite room in your house.

Boogie's Room... how could you not love a room full of puzzles, baby dolls, toys, etc? It's a room of GREAT FUN!

18 Months

Today was (finally) Boogie's 18 month well visit, overall she's doing fantastic! She did NOT handle the appointment well this time however, she KNEW what was coming and was NOT happy about that. Ay yi yi! Anyways, her pediatrician (who I adore by the way... she's totally supportive of ALL of our parenting decisions, which I appreciate) said while she is a pee-wee, she is growing very well for an active toddler who eats ALL OF THE TIME. Seriously, this kid can down some oatmeal or pancakes for breakfast!

Boogie weighed 21.4lbs WITH her clothes and shoes on (that includes a cloth diaper), so it was probably just under 21 nudey. She was also 31.25" tall, so she's grown about 3/4" since her 15 month well visit. She is in 24/2T clothing, and a 4 or 4.5 shoe... now if she would just grow into a 5 it would be easier to find her some darn shoes! In a normal pocket diaper (like a Go Green or Kawaii) she is still in the smallest snap setting, but for Happy Heinys and some of the Go Green Champs she is in the largest setting... how funny is that? Her ped. complimented on how well she talks and communicates and gave us lots of tips to help with some of her temper tantrum habits and how to handle the new changes coming our way!

Here are some recent photos of our girl!

Checking out the tomatoes with the neighbor

She loves her new Minnie Bear!

Cheese!

This is the face I get when she's tired of pictures!

No nap? She lost that fight lol!

Our ginormous zucchini! It was as big as Boogie!

Our new favorite bath time activity... shaving cream paint!