Where do we go from here?

This past week has been exciting, stressful, horrible, and wonderful all at the same time. Like I said in my last post, school is going great so far. I am enjoying my classes, and feel like I'm doing well getting my hw done and such. Our living situation and financial situation is not so great. I am still unemployed. There's a great possiblity of me working for a friend of mine, but we're not sure when that might be... so right now, horribly unemployed. Which means, we're living off of one income. Justin works his butt off, but even with all the work he does, his paychecks are GONE by the time he gets home after paying bills, and it SUCKS!

I had to get a new computer for school, there were no ifs ands or buts about it. We have a small laptop (one of those mini's), but you can attach the printer to it, it doesn't have a disc drive, and the screen is TINY. That's not going to work obviously. My parents have a dell desktop, but it's in my brother's room, and he's on it 24/7... so that wasn't going to work either. I was planning on buying a new laptop, but we figured it might just be easier to get a desktop and a portable harddrive to take to school (lighter and more portable than a laptop!). So we went to Walmart and found a Dell Desktop for $298.... this was originally at $498, so YAY! It works great, has plent of GB and space... and I am stoked. Now we just have to get Student Office & the portable harddrive and I'm set!

With that said, we come home, all excited because we aren't spending as much as we thought we would have to and my mom is NOT happy. Now mind you, I am an adult, I am married, my husband and I NEVER buy ANYTHING without talking about it first. Justin was ecstatic about getting a computer for a lower price, because that means more money when we find a place to live. So, Justin leaves to get a few things from his parents, and my mom confronts me about buying the computer. She's asking me if Justin was happy about buying this computer, if he had any say so in it.... and I'm feeling like she's attacking my relationship with my husband and ofcourse I flip out. This is a constant thing now. We've been living with my mom for a couple of months, and it just won't stop. We spend too much money, we don't make the right choices, nothing we do is good enough! I've even tried spending time with her, and no. She wants nothing to do with me. My mom has a lot of personal issues that she's dealing with, but I think sometimes she uses those issues as an excuse. It's like her problems are bigger and more important than listening to my problems, or taking the time to have some mother-daughter time. I'm so tired of it!

For instance, she and dad bought me a nice sewing machine for Christmas last year, but I had to fight tooth and nail for her to just show me how to use it. My mother is the master crafter. She can sew anything, make anything... she's amazing. She learned from her grandmother and I think even a little from her mom.... so why doesn't she want to show me? I can quilt.... which menas basically all I know how to do right now is sew squares together. I want to learn how to make all kinds of other things, but when I ask her if she can help me, it's like I asked her to walk on fire or something. I'm finally at a point in my life when I want to spend time with her and be a friend.... and she doesn't want me. Where do I go from here?