Unbelievably Happy

I just can't explain to you how happy I am right now. I'm thoroughly enjoying my time at my parent's house. Isn't that funny??? I couldn't wait to get out of here so I moved out when I was 18.... and now that I'm 21 and am happily married.... I LOVE being here. I've enjoyed helping dad with the dog lot, and cleaning up the house for mom. We've cooked meals and ran errands.... and I'm just really happy. Justin and I have as much privacy as I want, but we're also not bored and stressed out like we were at his parents, so we're not getting on eachothers nerves! Haha! We haven't fought ONE time since we moved to my parent's.... and that's pretty much amazing. I will be working tomorrow night @ the childcare and Justin is going to mow the lawn for my dad and cook dinner.... other than that we don't have much planned for this week. More later ;-)



I was flipping through my mom's NLT version of the One Year Bible and decided to read todays section. The second set of verses was from Psalms 119:17-32. These passages really blessed me and encouraged me and I hope they do the same for you!

Be good to your servant, that I may live and obey your word.
Open my eyes to see the wondersful truths in your law.
I am but a foreigner here on earth; I need the guidance of your commands.
Don't hide from me!
I am overwhelmed continually with a desire for your laws.
You rebuke those cursed proud ones who wander from your commands.
Don't let them scorn and insult me,
for I have obeyed your decrees.
Even princes sit and speak against me, but I will meditate on your principles.
Your decrees please me; they give me wise advice.
I lie in the dust, completely discouraged; revive me by your word.
I told you my pans, and you answered.
Now teach me your principles.
Help me understand the meaning of your commandments, and I will meditate on your wonderful miracles.
I weep with grief; encourage me by your word.
Keep me from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your law.
I have chosen to be faithful; I have determined to live by your laws.
I cling to your decrees.
Lord, don't let me be put to shame!
If you will help me, I will run to follow your commands.


BIG Sigh of Relief

Home Sweet Home.... I think that pretty much sums it up. We're staying at my mom & dad's now, and once we got most of our stuff here and got settled down from all the drama, it was like this huge weight was lifted off our shoulders. There's a noticeable difference in Justin's attitude and personality.... he's REALLY happy right now, and I'm sooooo happy for him. His only issue is his allergies and the cats, lol. My parents are our lifesavers, and we are blessed. We wouldn't have anywhere to go if it wasn't for them. I don't know how long we'll be here... but I know that as long as we're here I'll always feel welcome. Thank you mom, thank you dad!!! THANK YOU GOD!


Seriously..... Seriously?

As I type this, I am sitting in my mom's living room while my hubby sleeps in my mom's craft room on the futon. Yea. At my moms. My wonderful mother in law KICKED US OUT. Why you ask? Here's the jist of it. We had originally told J's parents that we would give them $300 for rent, that was over a month ago. During that time, J was getting a pretty nice paycheck because one of the ladies he worked with was out of work (she was apparently injured at work..... but we saw her in public and she was FINE..)and she came back just 2 weeks ago, so now J's hours are a little smaller than they had been. We paid the rest of our bills today, and we had less than $300, and that means we didn't have enough for them, or enough gas money for the next 2 weeks. Justin had mentioned to them yesterday that we really needed to take it back down to $200 because of our finances, we were giving them $300 to be generous, but obviously we can't do that now. My mother in law FREAKED out, I mean she threw a freak'n gasket. Yelling and screaming and just being very irrational. I mean... seriously. After a lot of that nonsense she told us to get out.... and to make a long story short.... we're at my moms until we can figure things out. My husband is fed up. I'm fed up. Even my parents are fed up with their crap. So yea. My mom's a saint.


Video of My Baby!!!!


As usual, the house we were hoping to get fail through. So for now, we're staying at the inlaws... oh joy! I'm not going to let anything that happens effect what my plans are though. I am going back to school and I'm going to succeed!! I don't care what my mil says or whatever rumors the family decides to spread.... it's not going to change me. Justin and I will just do our own thing, and find a way to make this work.

I didn't have much to post, but I'm trying to blog atleast 2-3x a week!


Decision Made!

I have finally made my decision about school. This fall I will be enrolling in AB Tech's Human Services Technology/Social Services program. This program includes various classes in psychology, social services and etc. It's a 2 year program - that is 4 regular semesters and a summer semester. Once I graduate from AB Tech I will pursue some sort of job, whether it be in a county office helping with social services or as an assistant teacher. While working I will then apply at Mars Hill for their Adult Program in Elementary Education which hopefully will take less than 3 years. Once I get my teaching license and find a teaching job, and after I have worked for a year I will apply at Montreat College (or maybe Western) for my Masters. I'm really excited about this! I think that the program at AB Tech will give me insight to special needs children and those at risk (I'm talking about kids in foster homes, abusive homes and etc.) I'm hoping this will give me a range of oppurtunities. If possible I might also try and get my psychology degree (although this will be wayyy down the road after I get my masters and have children! haha!). I think I'm being very ambitious, but I KNOW that I can do this. I am determined to do this and succeed.

Also, just recently my husband's aunt offered us a place to stay in her previous home (that she still owns). It is an old trailer, it needs a lot of work, but we are willing to put forth the work if need be. She will not charge us rent, we will have to pay the lot rent and utilties (total making it 300/month which is exactly what we're paying my inlaws for ONE tiny room). It's not a definate possibility yet, because currently Justin's aunt's boyfriend's son (I know confusing) is living there but is "supposably" moving out in June. We're praying that this works out, we really need this right now!

Anyways, I just wanted to give you an update on my life ;) With God.... alllllll things are possible!


Fighting Fire

You know how little girls dream of their weddings someday? How they'll find their prince charming, have a huge white wedding and a new family to love? I did. I dreamed of all of that, I also dreamed that someday I would have a mother in law that would be my friend.... who would love me like a daughter and just be like another mom. Well I got everything but that. From the time I started dating Justin until now, I have fought a never ending battle with my inlaws. And to be honest with you, I don't know why they don't like me or what I've done to treat me with such disrespect and hatred. I feel unwelcome, unworthy and like an outcast no matter what I do. Really, even with all the crap I get.... I worry more about the impact it has on my amazing husband. Justin is so loving and so caring. He is always looking out for his family and helping with anything they need.... but they are making him sooo unhappy. Justin is the love of my life and I am his.... and that makes us both incrediably happy. So you would think his mother would appreciate that and realize that by pushing me away, shes not pushing me away from him. She's pushing her son away from her. He is not a child anymore. He is a man, he is a strong, brave, amazing loving man. Ugh. I'm just so aggravated at everything thats going on right now.... all I want to do is lash out and hurt them.... but I can't and won't do that. It's not my place, and I'm trying very hard to do God's will.


Housing Grants?

Have any of you ever heard of student grants for housing? Someone mentioned to me today that I should ask my financial aid counselor about a housing grant to take care of an apartment while I'm in school.... if that exists I want more info! LOL! I don't plan on working while I'm in school (with the exception of babysitting) so that I can focus on getting my degree..... but living at the inlaws is NOT fun! If you know anything PLEASE PLEASE let me know! Thanks!


Happy Mother's Day!!!

I want to wish EVERY mother, mommy to be, and all of you ladies who are trying to have a beautiful child a very happy mother's day! So far my day has been pretty interesting. Nanny (my husband's grandmother) potted some angel trumpet for me to give to my mom for mother's day. We also got her some hanging flower pots. For my mother in law we bought her a wooden cow (no kidding, she's obsessed) and a keychain from Florida. For nanny a birdhouse, a palm tree & a gnome (that she LOVES). Granny got a double cheeseburger, french fries & coke from Mickey D's..... and even without her teeth she LOVED it! LOL

My brother has been a wonderful jerk today.... he stayed the night at a friends house so came home this afternoon..... then stayed for dinner and immediately left for his friends house... I was ticked... probably more ticked than my mother but oh well.

Again, happy mothers day!


Owning Myself

For a long time I've struggled with my body type.... I am average height but I am 200 lbs and self conscious! But who isn't right? Since I met Justin, my outlook on life and what I think about myself have drastically changed. I use to ONLY wear hoodies and jeans to school and other clothes that hid my body. I always struggled to find tops that were appropriate and fit my big boobs.... what a pain! Well this is where I am now. This is MY body. I OWN this body. I have curves. I am NOT skinny. And why is this so great? BECAUSE I'M PROUD OF MY BODY! I have been shopping A LOT at Old Navy and have found clothes that fit perfectly and they ARENT hoodies! LOL! I think its a shame that women feel like they have to be a certain size to be beautiful... I wish I had discovered myself while I was in high school! Thats all I really had to say.... I own myself now.... I own this body that God created..... its mine and I choose to love it just the way it is!



Well, this is going to be a short post.... but Justin and I got back from our trip to the beach on Friday.... we had a BLAST. It was well worth the time and money getting down there! I snagged a new family to babysit... 3 girls. The oldest is 12, her name is Hana - she is only around occasionally. The younger two are 4 year old Ila and 1 1/2 year old Rosie. All 3 of them are great girls, and I really enjoy watching them! I have to go and take a placement test for school on the 15th... not looking forward to that. However, my friend Rachel, who has always been my go to person for school help is going to tutor me beforehand. Other than that.... I start summer staff for the conference center on the 25th and hoping to snag some more families to nanny for!

oh..... and i am going to be working on my voice, writing and guitar skills. i have put it off for way to long. i am hoping that maybe at some point i can sell my lyrics... i know that realistacally (sp?) my voice is not strong or good enough for me to ever sing my own songs professionally, no matter how much i want that.... so maybe, someone will enjoy my lyrics through someone else's vocals!