House Hunting

Well, we checked out the house I posted earlier.... and it was great.... on the inside. The neighborhood was pretty awful, so we're looking into some other places! There are several but I'd love to get my friend's and family's input!

Here is House A:










This house has been COMPLETELY remodeled, and its gorgeous. It's small, but it has a pretty good sized yard with a creek out back. It's 2BR/2Bth, 750sq/ft.





This is House B:










I love this house, it was built in the 20's and still has a little bit of that charm, lol! It's been partially remodeled, but obviously we'd need to repaint.... it's a little dark for my taste! It's 1 1/2 story on 0.6acres, 3BR/1Bth. The top floor is 500sq/ft and the main floor is 1557sq/ft, so it's pretty large!




This is House C:




We don't know much about this house, but we're still interested in looking at it. The only picture the realtor gives us is the one you see above. It's on 1 acre of land, 3BR/1Bth, 1150 sq/ft.



This is House D:












This is actually a singlewide that was remodeled and added on too. They did an AMAZING job! It's 3BR/2Bth, 1215 sq/ft on .23acres. It's already been vented for a woodstove (which is awesome) but we don't entirely like it's location.... it's not a bad neighborhood, just further from our hometown then we would prefer!



This is House E:









This house is one of our favorites, it's a 2BR/1Bth on a small lot but the yard is pretty good sized. It's 768 sq/ft and has been remodeled. It's in a GREAT location near a friend's home, lol.



This is House F:







This is a 2BR/1Bth house with 980 sq/ft. It's on about .17acres, this is one of Justin's favorites, lol!


Well, those are all the houses we're hoping to look into. We meet with the loan officer next Thursday, and hopefully we'll get approved for the loan we want and can meet with Rosie to check these houses out! Please be praying for us, this is something we thought could never happen for us.... and there's a good chance that it will. We are BLESSED.

A HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT!

There are some HUGE changes coming for us! HUGE, AMAZING, EXCITING changes! We've been talking to a good friend of mine (it's actually my childhood bestfriend's mother) who is a realtor about purchasing a house. We HATE renting, because it feels like that money goes down the drain every month! Why not invest that money into a house? Well, we found a house we LOVE that is SO affordable.... and we also found out today that there is a loan (that just last got approved for 2009) for first time homebuyers.... I AM ECSTATIC! It's not for sure yet... but there's a possibility that by this summer we will be the happy owners of a home :-D Here's a few pics below.... the inside has bright orange and blue walls (we WILL be painting them lol if we get this house) and ofcourse, being an older home it needs a little work. Snickers has a good sized yard to run around in and we would have a fenced in yard if we get it! Start praying!!!

Anger

I have so much anger in my heart today and no matter what I do... I just can't get it to go away. I know the Devil is pushing at me with full force today, and Lord I wish you would make him stop. For the past week or so I've been having dreams about a former bf, in every dream he tells me how he made a huge mistake and that I should be with him and not my husband. I argue with him, and I always wake up with tears out of frustration and anger towards this person even though I know it's not really him doing this to me. I had HUGE feelings for this person, but not nearly as huge as the feelings I have for my husband. So for this past week all this anger has built up and I've taken it out on my husband... although there are days where he doesn't make it easy for me NOT to be angry with him. I'm just so frustrated and annoyed... and I can't take this anymore! I hate when my emotions get played with... especially when the Devil is involved. I could be wrong, maybe God is trying to teach me something, but I have yet to figure out what. I just can't take it.... I'm stressed as it is. Pray for me... pray that I will get through all this hectic and tiring emotional stress.

So Here We Go....

It's taken me a long time to figure out who I am, who I want to be, and who God created me to be. I'm still not completely there, but I guess you could say that in a way I get glimpses of who I will be. My job doesn't describe who I am, nor does my residence, my family or even my husband for that matter. If you don't know me.... this includes talking to me a few times or knowing of me.... if you don't TRULY know me, then you haven't a faintest clue of who I am. Sometimes I think people get wrapped up in thinking they know someone inside and out without ever actually having a heart to heart conversation with them. They know FACTS... such as "She's a freshman at NC State" or "She got married right after high school" or even "He used to drink." That's now who any of these people are..... those are things they've done... things that they have experienced but in no way does it describe who they are. There are so many people out there who think they know who I am, they assume that since they have been in my life and experienced different events with me that they know who I am. You're probably asking yourself.... what the heck is this girl talking about!?!?! Let me ask you this..... do you know who you are? Do you know who you truly are? Or are you just a girl who got married after high school.... or a guy who used to drink? I used to be that person.... I told myself that I was that girl who got married young... the girl who used to play music and sing in the hallways at school. I was that girl who dropped out of college... but I'm not. These are things that I've DONE. Want to know who I am? I'm still learning that myself.... but this is what I have so far. I'm an unbelievably UNWORTHY child of God. I am a woman who loves this crazy dorky man and doesn't care what anyone thinks about that! I am a woman who is going to be a mommy someday, who is going to cherish every moment with her children and teach them that a Jewish carpenter named Jesus gave His life to save their beautiful souls. I don't just think I am that person.... I KNOW that's who I am.... what I've done in my life (right or wrong) doesn't describe who I am. My relationship with Jesus Christ does.... and the paths I take THROUGH Him describe who I am..... So let me ask you again. Do you know who YOU are?

Overwhelmed

I am SO overwhelmed. PLEASE pray for me! But this is a good overwhelmed, I have SEVERAL job offers to take into consideration and I must say GOD IS GOOD! I have an interview (over the phone with the family) for a nanny position. This family just moved to the area and the mother needs some help with her young children during the school year M-W. She is willing to pay $10/hr plus gas reimbursement. I think this would be a fun job, but I'm concerned about what I would do AFTER the school year. Next, the food service coordinator (aka Mary, my boss) offered me a supervisor position in the dining room where I'm working VERY part time now. And if for whatever reason, the guy who is managing nights at the cafe summer can't do it, I would be the night manager for the Huck. Also, at the same conference center, the front desk manager offered me a position as night auditor. I would work 3 nights every other week and 2 nights during the weeks in between. He will pay me $8/hr with a potential raise. This said.... he knows I want to go back to school and said that I would be FREE to do homework and study while at work. There aren't a lot of things to do during the night shift but they HAVE to have someone on duty at all times. AND I can still work in childcare during the summer for $10.75/hr like I planned on doing. So I'm leaning towards that job.... but it's still a tough call! So please be praying for me!

Free to be Me

Usually, music is what inspires me and music is how God speaks to me. Well, today is no exception. Last night I heard this song, 'Free to be Me' by Francesca Battistelli and the words are perfect, they totally describe my life. But isn't that usually how it goes? LOL! Here are the lyrics:

At twenty years of age I'm still looking for a dream

A war's already waged for my destiny

But You've already won the battle

And You've got great plans for me

Though I can’t always see

Chorus)

‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender

Got a couple rips in my jeans

Try to fit the pieces together

But perfection is my enemy

On my own I'm so clumsy

But on Your shoulders I can see

I'm free to be me

When I was just a girl I thought I had it figured out

My life would turn out right, and I'd make it here somehow

But things don't always come that easy

And sometimes I would doubt

(Repeat Chorus)

And you're free to be you

Sometimes I believe that I can do anything

Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring

But You look at my heart and You tell me

That I've got all You seek A

nd it’s easy to believe

Even though

(Repeat Chorus)

That's my life right now. I'm twenty years old, I'm not perfect, I'm still looking for who I am and who I want to be.... but I know that through Him.... I'm free to be me. I'm definately not someone who tries to fit in or goes along with the crowd. I've always been the type to rebel when it came to choices that my friends made. I'm not as rebellious when it comes to my clothes anymore.... thank goodness! I make choices for me now, and I've stopped caring whether or not someone thinks I'm cool or if they think I'm wierd. I am who I am, I stutter and stumble over my words sometimes, I play guitar and sing... even though sometimes I think I'm pretty horrible at it. I like to sew and knit, I even like to play video games on my husbands xbox and on my ds. I am just me. I might not be what anyone else thinks I should be.... but through God's amazing love and grace... I am FREE TO BE ME.

My Desire

We are struggling. I am struggling. With bills, with not being able to find a job, with no privacy, with no home. With letting God take control. I am scared we've dug ourselves this huge hole and can't find our way out. Every time we turn around something new pops up. A new bill, a new problem. I know my Lord can bring me through anything... so why is it so hard to let go and let HIM? I can't take this anymore! I need to find peace.

So I got into the car this morning and this song came on. One of my favorites.... but you know how you listen to music all the time and sometimes just don't "hear" the lyrics. Well I HEARD them this morning.

My Desire

Jeremy Camp
You want to be real, you want to be empty inside

You want to be someone laying down your pride

You want to be someone someday

Then lay it all down before the king

You want to be whole, you want to have purpose inside

You want to have virtue and purify your mind

You want to be set free today

Then lay it all down before the King

This is my desire, this is my return

This is my desire to be used by You

You want to be real, you want to be empty inside

And I know my heart is to feel

You near

And I know my life

It's to do Your will

It's to do Your will

This is my desire, this is my return

This is my desire, to be used by You

Oo yea

This is my desire, this is my desire

To be used by You

All my life I have seen

Where You've taken me

Beyond all I have hoped

And there's more left unseen

There's not much I can do to repay all You've done

So I give my hands to use

This is my desire, this is my return

This is my desire, to be used by You

Oo yea

This is my desire, this is my desire

To be used by You

I WANT to lay down my pride and lay it down before HIM.

I'll be found in You.

Shadowfeet

Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet

Toward home; a land that I've never seen.

I am changing: less and less asleep

Made of different stuff than when I began

And I have sensed it all along

Fast approaching is the day.

[chorus]

When the world has fallen out from under me

I'll be found in you, still standing

When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees

When time and space are through

I'll be found in you

There's distraction... buzzing in my head

Saying in the shadows it's easier to stay

But I've heard rumors of true reality

Whispers of a well-lit way

[chorus]
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through
I'll be found in you

You make all things new x5

[chorus 2]

When the world has fallen out from under me

I'll be found in you, still standing

Every fear and accusation under my feet

When time and space are through

I'll be found in you

I come back to this song EVERY day. A lot has been happening in mine and Justin's lives lately.... but I can always be found in Christ. When the world is falling underneath my feet..... I'll be found in YOU Jesus.... and I'll be standing. When the sky is rolling and the mountains fall to their knees.... I'll be found in YOU. Forever and always.... every moment of everyday... I know I can find myself in You. I am blessed. Lord, am I blessed.

Long Time No Write!

It's been almost a month since I posted & A LOT has happened.... so let me sum it up for you.

- I got laid off in December & COULD NOT for the life of me find another job in TN
- Justin's hours got cut DURING Christmas.... who does that when you work in retail?
- We packed our bags & moved back to NC
- We are living with the inlaws..... that's a story for another day. UGH.
- Justin is working at the nursing home he was @ before we moved to TN; which is also the place my Granny lives
- I JUST found out... like a few hours ago.... that I have a job in the conference center, in the dining room, where I worked in high school part time. It's a good job, but they don't offer any benefits or full time.... but it's a job for now!
- I am talking to a lady who works at the local grocery warehouse in accounts receivable about a job there, which IS full time and offers AMAZING benefits


I think that sums it up right? I'm sure I'll be back later to update some more.... but that's all for now!

I don't have a verse today.... I just wanted to say GOD IS GOOD.

If We Are the Body...

Lately, my life has been a reality rollercoaster. I got laid off from my job, my husband's hours have been cut short at work.... and we just really want to go home. I've been so focused on trying to figure out what I needed to do to make our lives better... but I forgot that the only way things will get better is if I lay them down before the Lord. And then I started thinking... what kind of example am I setting for my friends and family? Freaking out, stressing and complaining isn't showing them that I'm focused on my Father... it's doing nothing but show them that I don't count on him. So what did I do? I pulled out my guitar, sat at the computer and searched for some music. If you don't know by now, but the best way for me to get closer to my Lord is to just praise Him with my voice. Eventually, I found one of my favorite songs... "If We are the Body" by Casting Crowns. It's an AMAZING song. It talks about two individuals who just want to fit in but feel like that the other people in church just won't accept them... and the chorus goes on to say that if we are part of Christ, and if we are part of His body.... why aren't we teaching them what He's all about? Why aren't we treating them like Jesus would have? Wow. What a reality check right? Here are the lyrics:

V1
It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in... trying to fade into the faces
The girls teasing laughter is carrying
Farther than they know
Farther than they know, Lord

Chorus
But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way.

V2
A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat
And quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances
Tells him that his chances
are better out on the road

Bridge
Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the bo - - -dy of Christ

Chorus
But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way.
Jesus is the way.

Let me repeat that..... JESUS IS THE WAY.