I think today is the day it finally hit me that yes, I am really pregnant. When I got pregnant with Elah, and if you have followed our blog or have read the story about our journey with her, you know that it took us a great deal of time to finally conceive her. Over two and half years to be exact... it was heartbreaking, frustrating, overwhelming... so when we did finally get pregnant we were overjoyed and couldn't wait to share the news! I was on our due date board on babycenter religiously, constantly updating family and friends, etc. This time was a little different. Our intentions were to start TTC in March, after my 3rd postpartum cycle. My first was the week of Elah's first birthday, and it was VERY long cycle. I want to say it ended up being around 75 days or so. My second cycle seemed to go on forever as well and I was worried that if it didn't straighten itself out I'd have to make an appointment with the midwife and put TTC on hold. On April 3rd Elah had a rough time getting to sleep and staying asleep that night, but during the moments she was asleep I had very vivid dreams of me testing positive, holding a new baby, telling Elah she was going to be a big sister, etc. I know this was the Lord's way of saying, "SARAH! TAKE A TEST!" So I obeyed... and lo and behold, I was pregnant! I cannot even begin to tell you the shock I felt. I couldn't believe it, I thought it was too good to be true!
We made the decision to wait until our first ultrasound to announce, but I was still hesitant because in the back of my mind I kept thinking that this couldn't be real... we couldn't have gotten pregnant so quickly. So I talked to J about having our favorite photographer, Brandi Clemmons help us announce with some fun creative photos. I even wanted to wait until we reached the second trimester, but my sweet husband couldn't wait that long! Even after announcing I've still had trouble wrapping my mind around being pregnant again. I've struggled to accept that my little girl isn't going to be our only baby anymore, and in reality she ISN'T a baby anymore. Today however, it hit me. I am pregnant. My baby is growing, or really I should say my toddler AND my baby are growing and they are both healthy and I am overwhelmed with how incredibly blessed we are. I was so terrified that we would struggle again, and Elah would be so much older when we conceived... but my prayers were answered and my dreams came true and our little ones will be about 2 years apart. Just the way I wanted it.
I'm also amazed by how easily Elah is handling the changes... granted, she does act a little jealous some days and then there are days where she is clingy, whiny, and incredibly frustrating to deal with. But if you could see her kiss my belly, rub her hands where her baby is and say "love you!" it would melt your heart. I'm so proud of her, I'm slowly losing fear that she will struggle with a new baby in our family... I think she's going to love her baby brother and sister!
That's really all I wanted to say today... a little more actually, but I'm thrilled to say that I AM pregnant! :) Here's to 29 more weeks of being a family of THREE!