Lead Me

I've been thinking all day about what to write in this post and how to express everything I want to say. There's a song that I heard for the first time just shortly after I gave birth to Boogie, J made a slideshow of her newborn pictures and included this song in that slideshow and ever since then every time I hear that song it brings me to tears. The song is called "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real and I think the lyrics to this song completely describe what my husband thinks and feels pressured to do on a daily basis. He is so incredibly strong and so willing to do whatever it takes to ensure that my children and myself are taken care of and that I am able to stay home with them and raise them the way we see fit. Before I continue, please read these lyrics:

Lead Me

Sanctus Real

I look around and see my wonderful life

Almost perfect from the outside

In picture frames, I see my beautiful wife

Always smiling, but on the inside

Oh, I can her her saying

Lead me with strong hands

Stand up when I can't

Don't leave me hungry for love

Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight

That I'm still the love of your life

I know we call this our home

But I still feel alone

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes

They're just children from the outside

I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine

They're independent, but on the inside

Oh I can hear them saying

Lead me with strong hands

Stand up when I can't

Don't leave me hungry for love

Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight

That I'm still the love of your life

I know we call this our home

But I still feel alone

So Father, give me the strength

To be everything I'm called to be

Oh Father, show me the way

To lead them

Won't you lead me?

To lead them with strong hands

To stand up when they can't

Don't want to leave them hungry for love

Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight

And give them the best of my life

So we can call this our home

Lead me 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me 'cause I can't do this alone

I imagine every husband and/or father feels those things at some point, if not everyday. Being the head of the household is a huge responsibility and job, I know that in the past few weeks my wonderful husband has gone above and beyond the call of duty for his job as a manager for the kitchen he works for and as a husband and father. I can't even begin to tell you how appreciative I am of this man who makes so many sacrifices for his family. I know that I am constantly asking J to do this, and do that (especially the bigger I get with this pregnancy) and he is wore out. But it doesn't matter how tired he is, he is always willing to play with Boogie, was the dishes, clean the bathroom, throw together dinner... that's just who he is. I am so incredibly lucky to be married to such a man. 

I've been praying for him more so than usual lately, I find myself constantly thinking that I don't do enough to show him how thankful I am for him or wondering if he even knows how much I appreciate and love him. As the song goes... he's leading us with strong hands and he's leading us by God's command. I'm not sure if I've even gotten across everything I wanted to say in this particular post... but I hope that when J reads this he knows how much I adore him and love him. 

We are approaching our 5th wedding anniversary this September and we have been together for over 6 years now. I never imagined that I would meet the man God intended for me at 17 or that we would be where we are today with a beautiful smart little girl and a sweet baby boy on the way. I can't believe it's been almost 5 years since I stood in front of a crowd of people and promised to love and adore this man for the rest of my life. I love him more today than I did that day and I continue to love him more and more each and every day that passes. I feel bad because today on the day that I'm writing this heartfelt post, I haven't had the energy or the motivation to get anything done while he slaves away at work. He is too good to me I'm afraid, and I'm sorry to say he's coming home to a complete disaster of a house. 

J, my love, I'm sorry that you're coming home to such a disaster. I'm praying that tomorrow I will wake up a little more energized and less sore and that our Boogie will be in higher spirits (she's been a bit of a grump today). You are such an amazing man and an even more incredible father. I thank God everyday for choosing you to be my helpmate, lover, best friend, confidant, and father of my children. Thank you for everything that you do, for everything that you've worked towards, for loving us no matter what. You are incredible. 

To end, I'd like to post the music video for the song above and a few pictures of my love over the past 6 years.

First Vacation Together 2006

Prom 2006

Engagement Photos 2007

Wedding (Reception) 2007

Honeymoon 2007

Pregnant with Boogie 2010

First days as parents 2010

Family Photo and Pregnant with Asher 2012