As I get closer and closer to the end of this pregnancy I'm getting a little more overwhelmed and honestly a little scared at the changes we are all going to face as a family. Boogie is a very independent little girl, her new favorite thing to say is, "No! I do it!" However, as independent as she is I know that she feels a big change coming, so she is super clingy during the day, especially when J is at work. She's ok when I'm rushing around the house cleaning because she can constantly follow me around and "help", but once I sit down to rest or to work on homework (like I've been trying to do for the past 3 hours) she goes into this clingy, whiny, "I hold you!" phase (she means "hold me" when she says that btw). It's frustrating, it's annoying... and then I realize that these next 10 weeks are the last few weeks that she will be my one and only and will have my almost undivided attention. And THEN I think... holy smokes. What the heck am I going to do when she acts this way and I'm nursing Bubby, or changing his diaper... or whatever?!?! She has been my world for almost 2 years now, how will she handle this huge change in her life? She understands SO much, but will she understand that even though we have a new little one to love and adore, that we still love and adore her as much as we ever did, if not more? I don't want her to think mommy is replacing her or loves her less... and I'm scared that she'll act out and make this whole transition even more scary than I'm imagining!
On top of that worry, I'm having anxiety over school and how the heck everything is going to get done that I need to get done at home while I'm trying to finally finish getting this AA! I'm also terrified of leaving Boogie overnight for the first time EVER and being in the hospital for a few days with only visits from her. I haven't been away from her for more than a few hours... EVER. Then I also get to thinking about how we want to handle visitors and just the three of us spending time with Bubby when he first arrives... we all know that causes drama. I worry about some other things as well that I'm not going to post on this blog because it's something I want to discuss in person, but all of this is just really really getting to me! I'm not so anxious over all of it that I'm freaking out, it's just that I'm worried about the change. I'm all for change, however drastically changing my child's routine and life bothers me. Let's just say that I AM glad that she's not quite two and that the chances of her remembering any of this is slim... at least I know that. Right?
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