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7.02.2008

Tired of Drama

As the title says... I'm tired of drama. It seems like everywhere I go I find drama or it finds me. Since high school I have lost a LOT of friends, and I believe the reasoning is this. One, most of my friends went off to school hours away. Two, I had found a guy I loved and planned on marrying someday (and I did). I feel like I made a lot of decisions that most people my age don't plan on making until they've graduated from college and have a career. I got engaged a month before my 19th birthday, and I got married 7 months later. I started a full time job, started paying bills, etc. My priorities changed, and they are a lot different then my peers' priorities. I don't worry about boys anymore, because I married the greatest MAN ever. I worry about how I'm going to pay this bill, I worry about what's for dinner tonight, I worry about when we're going grocery shopping. I can start thinking about children someday, buying a house. I live a different life then the people I graduated with. Not to say that I'm more responsible or know better... I'm still learning, but I have to think about my husband and money BEFORE I think about going out, and hanging out with my friends. That 20 bucks it takes to go out to lunch could have been my phone bill.... that 20 dollars I put in the gas tank to go to town with a friend could've been all the money I had for gas that week. I can't just get up and leave, I have to discuss it with my husband. I can't just invite someone over, it's Justin's home too. I don't think my friends understand that sometimes. i can't always pick up the phone to cancel plans at the last minute, if I'm with my family, I DON'T answer the phone. That's my time to spend with my family, and now that I'm moving, I NEED that time with them! I worry about my grandma, and the fact I won't get to see her as often as I would if I stayed here. I worry about my daddy, he's getting older and with his diabetes he has a lot more health risks. He's the same age my Papaw was when I was born. And to me, that's kind of scary.

I just feel like sometimes my friends don't see the big picture. They get mad if I can't get together and go out with them, or they get mad if I have to cancel at the last minute. All I can say is I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say. I realize that they might not understand, but I think they should kind of realize that I have to worry about other things... I'm frustrated. I'm stressed. I'm TIRED of the drama. Ugh.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
-John 16:33

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