5 to 15

I don't think some people realize how hard and how stressful being a stay at home mom can be, especially with a child who is attached at the hip (some would call her high needs or high maintenance lol). Boogie is constantly in my arms, being worn, or asleep on my lap... she refuses to sleep on her own, she refuses to play on her own, and when I try she screams. We're not talking fussy crying, we're talking full on tears pouring down her face, veins bulging, face turning red, "where's my momma" screaming. It's heartbreaking. So what else can I do? I hold her, I play with her, she sits on my hit while I cook, she hangs out in the wrap on my back when I vacuum... it's hard. BUT, it's the best job I've ever had, and it's the HARDEST job I've ever had. I'm learning to be patient, I'm learning to let the messes sit (although J is not to thrilled about that!), and I enjoy this time when Elah wants me all the time. I realize that someday she isn't going to want me, she'll grow up, push away hugs and kisses, want her friends instead of me, and then she'll have her own children who she'll do the same things for. It's hard, it's rewarding, it's my life.

Today I moved all of Elah's 3-6 month clothing out of her drawers and closets, with the exceptions of a few dresses and t-shirts... yea. My baby girl is growing, and she is growing quickly. All of her 6-9 and 9-12 month clothing is put away now. She has half a closet full of summer clothing, and half a closet full of winter clothing (thank you Babies R Us sale racks!). Then it hit me.... she really is growing FAST. She's almost sitting, next she'll be crawling... and then she'll be a toddler. It's thrilling and it's terrifying! I hope that when she finds her independence in sitting and crawling that she will allow me to walk away without flipping out, but at the same time I don't want her to get that big... I want her to stay my itty bitty 5lb infant forever. ::SIGH::

I guess what I'm trying to say is... I realized how big my little girl was today. My 5lb baby has turned into a 15lb almost 6 month old. Next thing I know... she'll be walking, talking, and growing right out of my life and into her own little family's life... it's all going TOO FAST!

1 comment:

Samantha said...

I feel you on the "needy" baby!