Preparing for the Big Day...

I know I say this frequently, but this pregnancy is going by incredibly quickly! Tomorrow I will be 35 weeks... yea you read that right. 35 weeks! We're getting closer and closer to Elah's birthday, whenever that may be, and since it's drawing near I've been doing a lot of preparation for the big day. Again, I've posted a little about this I believe, about packing my bag for the hospital and etc. My bag is still packed and stored in Elah's room temporarily, all it's lacking is my homemade rice heating pack (aka Justin's sock w/rice in it), toiletries, and snacks. I'm sure we've packed more than we'll need or want, but I'd rather be over prepared then under prepared. I even had to use my huge orange adidas sports bag that I used for soccer in high school... my robe took up the entire suitcase I was planning on using! We also have Elah's diaper bag packed to keep in the car in case we have to stop anywhere on the way home, HOPEFULLY that won't be necessary. Her car seat base is installed and her car seat itself is waiting patiently in her room. Now I just have to prepare myself!

Mentally, I think I'm pretty ready... I obviously don't know what to expect with this being my first, but I have confidence knowing that not only will I have my husband's support during labor, but I'll have Janelle's support as well. It's nice knowing that someone with 3 pregnancies (which produced FIVE children) and lots of experience in a natural vaginal birth, a c-section with an epidural, and a c-section with a spinal will be there to encourage, pray, and support me. I'm actually looking forward to this new experience, as crazy as that sounds. Honestly, I'm not all that great with pain, I'm really a big baby! I also have a definate fear of needles... which is something I've done pretty well with considering how many times you have to get stuck during a pregnancy! With that said, I am planning on having a natural vaginal birth... meaning no pain meds! I know I can do it, my body was MADE to do this. Unfortunately the majority of friends and family in my life don't have a lot of confidence in me doing this... BUT I am hoping to prove them wrong!

Physically, I'm not so sure I'm ready. One of my biggest fears after reading many birth stories on is tearing or having an episiotomy. Just thinking about it makes me cringe MORE than thinking about a baby being pushed out of my body! I'm a little afraid of the pain and contractions and am still thinking and learning about how I might plan to work through that. The thing is, is there are so many different opinions and options out there that are supposed to help you through labor... but everyone is different, so at this point I don't know what will help me until I start physically feeling the pain. One thing I do know is that my hips are definately spreading and preparing for Elah coming into the world... they absolutely KILL! My yoga ball helps a little bit, but even that makes my hips sore after a while!

I'm also trying to decide if Justin is ready for this huge change or not. I think in a way he is completely ready, but at the same time he has no idea what to expect and is completely unprepared. I've been with Justin for close to 5 years now and I still have a hard time deciphering his emotions and inner thoughts sometimes. He's really good at bottling up his emotions, he's only cried infront of me 3 times the ENTIRE time we've been together. So I'm not sure if he will get emotional, if he'll be shocked and not know what to do, or if he'll just jump in and just know what to do as a father! What I do know is that he's going to be an amazing daddy, even if he botches a diaper change or puts Elah in an outfit that doesn't match (that really bugs me lol)... he's going to be great. I have no fear when it comes to that!

This post ended up being a little longer than usual, but hey, I'm excited! I'm so ready to feel Elah kicking on the OUTSIDE of my body and get to finally be a mommy! Do you hear me Miss Elah? Don't be stubborn and be late alright? Mommy is ready to meet you!

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