And so it begins...

Justin's been off for over a week, he took some vacation time so that he could spend time with Elah and me. And now... he is sleeping and will be getting up at 4:30am to go to work. I feel like tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives, as strange as that sounds... we got into this great routine at night where I would get up to nurse her every 2-4 hours (recently it's been every 4), and after the middle of the night feeding Justin would take her and rock her to sleep so I could a bit more shut eye to make it through the rest of the night. Now... I'm on my own! I just can't ask Justin to wake up and help me when he has to get up SO early to work a full 8 hour day. He has his job, and I have mine... so here we go. Tonight is the beginning of the rest of our lives, and I have to find a new routine.

I'm also learning to say NO. I've had a hard time with that... but, with all the people wanting to come see Elah I have to say no. If I have told you no, or if I do so in the future, please don't take it the wrong way. You have to understand that we can't allow EVERYONE to come over and hold our daughter all the time. We have to worry about illnesses, we have to worry about Elah being handled too much and upsetting her (and yes this has happened), and frankly... I need rest, I can't play hostess and mommy right now! Justin has had to tell his parents no a few times, I had to tell my mom no today... and it sucks doing that. And I'm sorry (sorry mom!). We know that everyone loves Elah, everyone wants to meet Elah and love on her... but I just can't grant everyone's wishes. Saying no is HARD. Really, really hard.