Life as a New Mommy

Happy New Year! Hope everyone had a safe and blessed New Year's Eve! Bare with me tonight, I haven't had time to do a lot of posting so I'm going to write everything I've been thinking about posting now!

Elah and I were discharged Thursday night... thank goodness! I didn't think we'd ever get out of there, and let me tell you... I was READY to come home! I was worried that Elah would cry all the way home because when we first got her into her carseat she cried and cried... but once our car started moving she was out. She slept the entire way home. The plan was for mom and dad to get us settled in and then go home... however after trying to take care of Elah on my own while Justin went to bed so he could work the next morning, I ended up calling my mom to stay with us for one night. I had moved around and done a lot more that day, so I was incredibly sore.

That night went pretty well, mom and I took turns holding Elah and changing her. I would feed her and hold her while mom slept, then she would wake up and cuddle with Miss Elah while I napped. It was a long night, but we managed. Friday morning we (mom and myself) took Elah to an outpatient lab to have her bilirubin levels retested. When she was tested at the hospital her levels were at 9, so they wanted to check her out in case they rose. Well, they did. She tested and ended up being at a level 14. We stopped at the Flints house on the way home, I was planning on feeding and changing Elah while we were there but she was completely content being passed around between JoyAnn, Jesse, & Janelle.

Friday evening we had yet another visit from our landlord... ugh. Not even going to go there. She really has no business managing or owning an apartment building. I was pretty upset and aggravated (moreso because my hormones are going crazy) about that, and then we got the call about Elah's bilirubin levels going up and finding out we'd have to use a biliblanket they'd have delivered to the apartment. So... yea. I asked mom and dad to come over to help us, and to help calm my nerves.

Let me just say this... I hate bilirubin blankets. Elah isn't a big fan either. We've had to come up with a sort of routine to keep her comfortable while she has to wear that contraption. Mom held her for a while in the blanket while they were here, and after they went home Justin and I spent the entire night in the living room with our daughter. I would feed her with the blanket off, pass her off to Justin to cuddle for a minute while I used the restroom, snacked, or whatever... then he'd hand her back to me, help me get her wrapped up in the blanket, lay on the couch and she would sleep on my chest while I rested. We managed to get about 6-8 hours of sleep altogether in 2 hour intervals.

This morning Justin and I took Elah to her first checkup, we were excited to find out that she hadn't lost any weight since they weighed her at the hospital Thursday (5lbs 11oz). They had us take her to the hospital outpatient lab to have her bilirubin levels checked again and then we came home to await my brother's homecoming from his trip to Florida. J and dad took down all our Christmas decor... I was so glad, I love Christmas but I was ready to move on to the new year! Justin also finally sold his truck! It's been nothing but trouble for the last 2 years, and so he sold it to a guy who is going to fix it up for his son. I'm glad someone with the knowledge and means to fix it was able to purchase it and that it's going to a kid for his first car... I know how exciting it is to get that first car!

That's pretty much how our lives have gone the last few days. I'm so happy to have my daughter home, and I'm so happy that she's settling in so well. The dogs already adore her, they are very protective, and still pretty curious about what she is. Justin is adjusting very well to fatherhood, he's still very nervous about picking her up and hurting her... but he's getting there. He makes my heart melt :)

Over the last few days, as my body has transformed from carrying my beautiful child to being the caregiver of my child... I've found that I actually love the way I look and how I'm changing to care for her. I was expecting to be self conscious of my stomach and stretch marks, to be overwhelmed by breastfeeding and the change in my breasts... but I'm not. I am nowhere near the weight or shape I hope to be in the future, but after having this huge, hard baby belly protruding from my abdomen for 9 months, I have come to appreciate the shape my stomach is in now. I'm actually smaller then I was prior to being pregnant (stomach wise), and I'm finding myself appreciating the stretch marks because they are a constant reminder of all those months I felt Elah kicking and rolling and hiccuping in my womb. My breasts are sore and are bigger then they have EVER been, which is one thing I admit to not appreciating... because I was not happy with how big they were before... but they are a life source for my daughter. They provide the nutrients and food that she needs to grow. I've also found that my pregnancy hair, that was constantly greasy and gross has become thicker and softer than ever before. So I'll say it again. I love my post pregnancy body. I appreciate my post pregnancy body. I feel comfortable in my skin!

I'm sure I'll think of many more things to write about, but they may be few and far between in the coming weeks. Project 365 is going to be put on the back burner for a while. I have plenty of pictures to post, but I'm wanting to keep written blogs updated more than the picture blogs for the time being.