1 Week Old

One week ago today... literally just minutes ago... I gave birth to my beautiful little girl! It's already going by so fast that I'm almost afraid to breathe. We've been going 24/7 since we got home from the hospital, and honestly I'm not happy about that! It's been one thing after another, and being a new mom who is EBF (exclusively breastfeeding) and having to attempt that in public, it's just a little stressful. Luckily the few times we've gone out, with a few exceptions, my mom has been with me and that helped a lot.

Today, Justin wanted to take Elah to meet his Mamaw, which was totally ok... she can't get around very well, and I know how much she wanted to meet her great granddaughter. However... this small trip turned into going to the grandparents house, and having her other great grandmother, and cousin, and great aunt over. I was expecting to go see Justin's Mamaw and then come home to relax. Apparently that wasn't his intentions. It was really hard for me to do just the trip to his Mamaws... my daughter will never have that chance to meet my grandparents like she has with J's. There were many times today that I just wanted to break down into tears and just cry my heart out. And to add more people wanting to hold Elah when all I wanted to do was go home and hold her and cry... it was just not a good day. Justin's family is really tight knit and they are always getting together for holidays, dinners at Nanny's and etc. I'm really just not used to that. My family (as in dad's family) gets together one time a year for Christmas, my mom's family live over 8 hours away. I'm just not used to having so many people wanting to meet my daughter and see her all the time. I'm having trouble wanting to share her... my heart hurts tonight.

It's not fair that my grandparents can't be here to see this beautiful little girl, to hold her and love on her. My heart aches to see my Granny hold her and give her those wet sloppy kisses that I miss so much. To see my Papaw hold her and tickle her cheeks with his white beard. It's really not fair.

Today wasn't all bad today though... I was so glad to see my friend and her little monsters walk through the door today. I've missed them so much, I'm used to seeing them so much more during the week... and really.... I just missed them. Elah is so blessed to have 5 kids to grow up with and have 2 amazing people to be her godparents. I'm so ready for our vacation in May... I think we're all going to need that break.