Blogging Hiatus

I've decided to put a pause on blogging until Elah gets here... Project 365 will start up where I left off once we're home and settled, and I will probably try to squeeze a blog in at the hospital when she's finally here. This will be my last blog until then... I need a break!

This Christmas is a little bit bittersweet... it's incredibly exciting because Elah could be here any day, but I know her daddy really wanted her here for Christmas. This holiday is also extremely depressing because it's also the anniversary of my Granny passing away. She passed away on December 26th of last year... and needless to say, it makes the holidays a lot different from what I'm used too.

For as long as I can remember, every year, on Christmas Eve my Granny and Papaw would have a family get together with all of their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. I don't think I've ever missed a get together! Last few years were tough because Papaw passed away a few months before Christmas in 2006, but we kept the tradition going because it was important to keep the family together and for Granny to have everyone by her side. Then last year happened... and now a few members of our family have chosen not to participate because the two people who held our family together are gone. It feels so wrong, especially since a new member will be here soon. It makes me angry... it makes me sad... I want my daughter to experience that tradition, but I have a feeling it's not ever going to be the same.

Selfishly, I would love to go into labor right now, before the 26th so that I don't have to feel the pain of losing my grandmother all over again, but I have a feeling that Elah is going to take her time getting here. And that's not her fault. I just wish that having her here could make things easier on everyone.

We're also supposed to be going to the annual Christmas Dinner at Justin's nanny's house, but this year they decided to have it on Christmas day... and we had already decided that starting this year... there would not be anymore running around to everyone's houses on that day. I had to make a slight exception to go to my parents house because Justin is working... and I didn't want to be home on Christmas by myself. So we won't be attending that Christmas Dinner, and I know Justin is disappointed... but I'm going to be 39 weeks pregnant tomorrow, I'm already super uncomfortable, highly irritable... and frankly I just don't want to be around that many people at once. And even more so than that... I don't want to be around anyone smoking, and I don't want to be around any colds or illnesses (I don't know if anyone is sick...but it IS that time of year). I don't need to be sick when I go into labor... heck no.

So yea... I need a break from blogging, and a break from everything else too I guess until Elah is here. Everyone is excited and anticipating her arrival, and sometimes I just wish I could hide and not come out until she gets here... I'm tired of people. Aren't I just a bundle of holiday cheer this year? Next year will be better.

Until Elah's birthday.... Merry Christmas... Happy New Year.... (I hope she's here before the new year atleast)... and adieu.